晋江文学城
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46、9th May Friday 2003 Shanghai ...

  •   Zolang er adem is, is er hoop (There is always hope as long you keep breathing)

      16 days passed by. May treated Ling as a tourist in the first week, showed her the parks, big shopping centers, new bridges and night bars, they had even took loads photos.
      No wonder May said speaking English was nothing special in Shanghai, those girls in night bars could all speak rather fluent English with those Kui Laos.

      Ling knew May expected Ling to say goodbye within 2 or 3 weeks. She couldn’t really squeeze in there with all three of them in one tiny room for too long either. She knew she had to find something.

      In the second week Ling carried a big city map, marched to dozens of labor fairs in different districts of the city. As crowded as ever even during SARS time. Not many firms needed new hands. Those limited vacancies were most written for MBAs or other masters. She believed it could be true that if a bulletin board fell down on the street in Shanghai, among 3 people crashed under it 2.5 would all have a Masters degree; the last one not graduated yet.
      She left no less than a hundred copies of CVs on all those stands, and today, she had an interview from the first response, some secretary job in an International Trade Agency.

      Ling traveled across the whole city for hours and found the Agency up 25th floor in a newly built area near the sea port. She wasn’t the only one, there were no less than 10 pretty girls waiting in the hall, and it was just the afternoon shift. Ling had the urge to runaway, she never really attended a job interview so far yet, her first job in the state owned school was prearranged by her parents, and her second job in □□ was hunted by May, the 3rd one in Sunshine Construction was also a backdoor entrance.

      She saw some girls walked away with a smile, some with a clouded face. The interview seemed rather quick. It was indeed quite brief.
      A small lady behind the desk holding Ling’s CV in hands,
      “You had been working as a secretary for half a year?”
      “A little shorter, yes,” Ling had creatively made some no harm amendments over her CV, she just worked something like 3 weeks in Sunshine Construction, but May said their teaching experiences wouldn’t really help.
      “Can you type fast and accurate both in Chinese and English?”
      “I am even better in English,” Ling beamed, didn’t dare to mention her Chinese typing speed.
      “We will test it after the conversation,” the lady’s nodded and Ling’s heart sank, “Are you aware of INTERCOM trading terms, such as LC, S/C, FOB, CIF, and so on.”
      “I have had some commercial English course, I can understand those terms, yes.”
      “For example?’
      “Letter of credit, sales confirmation…” Ling couldn’t remember what the abbreviation was for FOB or CIF,
      “What other skills you have that may help you to qualify as a secretary?”
      “I can play musical instruments.” Ling flushed; she never knew it could so hard and embarrassing to go through an interview.
      “And why would that be any help to be a secretary?” The lady looked at Ling with puzzle in her eyes.
      “Like if you’d hold some in company party sometimes, I could entertain a bit…” Ling couldn’t finish her own sentence.
      “Ok,” the lady waited for a second, sure that Ling was finished with her reason, she handed over a sheet with one side English prints the other side Chinese prints to Ling, “Please type this for me as quick as possible with as less mistakes as possible.”

      Sat behind the computer, Ling started with the Chinese side, the key board wasn’t the normal straight one; it was a bow formed one with a huge distance between the areas for the two hands. After a few minutes her hands got wet by sweat, and she pressed a few times the full point key but the full point didn’t show up, it was @ sign, closed her eyes, she deleted the whole line of characters she typed, and stood up, without looking to the lady, turned to the door and dashed out of the building, down to the street.

      She walked blocks after blocks. Shanghai was indeed big. There were so many squares and streets and shopping malls and they all looked the exact same.

      Two weeks time, Shenyang felt like a distant dream already. No wonder Jones could become a piece of rotten wood in America for years. Shook her head, Ling told herself to stop. She was doing the same everyday, if not every minute, to stop thinking about anything that might remind her Lee. She was the one who went away, she told her families and friends not to tell him where she was, she changed her mobile number; she wanted it to be like this, to completely disappear from his world. Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if he had tried to look for her, if he called her sister or went to her parents to check out where she could be, if he cared about the fact that she was gone.

      But nobody mentioned his name to her on the phone; her parents were on purposely trying to help her to get over with him. The poor parents had enough disasters to handle already. Bamboo seemed like a normal person now. But Tiffany found out Roc’s affair. She had crashed everything that is breakable into pieces and went back to the parent’s house. Never before had Ling’s parents so badly wished that they had 3 sons rather than 3 daughters. Why it seemed women were always at a disadvantage and in pain from any relationship? Lily once said some vague wise words like sometimes time and distance wouldn’t help to cure anything after all. Ling hadn’t really got what her aunt meant, Jones or Ling? or Lily herself with that new vise Mayor?

      Without eating anything whole day, Ling was completely exhausted by the time she stepped out the last shift of the bus to May’s flat. There was only one Pedi cab near the stop. Ling told the rider May’s address and asked how much would he charge, the rider said 8 ¥, Ling said she knew it should be 6¥, meanwhile searching around if there would be more Pedi cabs coming,
      The rider said, “Ok, a discount for non-local, 6¥ then, get on.” Ling stepped on the cab, the rider started to ride meanwhile explained, “I didn’t want to cheat you, 8¥ is not much for the distance.”
      “But it was 6 the last few times when I took it.” Ling knew that for sure.
      “That’s because of you just got off this bus one stop too early today. But we said it would be 6, then it would be 6, I won’t charge you more. But next time don’t get off before the next stop.” The rider talked with a warm voice, Ling noticed he wasn’t a local Shanghai-nese either, a weather beaten face in his 50’es. Ling flushed.

      After a while, Ling felt something abnormal. The road was flat, but the Pedi cab was constantly shaking, not as stable as the normal ones, the wheels weren’t smoothly running ahead but more like one little jump after another jump. She looked around the Pedi cab, suddenly dropped her draw at the sight of the rider’s legs, no, it was a leg, no plural, the rider only had one leg.

      He lost his left leg; the left trouser pipe was tied into a knot, shifting in the air with the dash of the wheels. In order to ride fast, he often lifted his bottoms from the seat, leaning to the right, to shift all the strength on his right leg.

      Ling stared at the knot, eyes got wet. She was young, with two healthy legs, sitting in the cab rode by a man 30 years older than she was with only one leg. She wanted to ask for a stop, she’d like to walk back, she’d pay him extra, yet afraid anything that would hurt the man’s pride.

      The road ahead was a upward sloping hill. Ling suggested to step off, “we can push the cab over.”
      “No, No, NO, if I can’t even ride up to such a small slope, how can I make a living?” the rider laughed, pulled his body into a bow, ride even faster. The creaking sounds directly hit ling’s heart; the cab almost stopped moving near the top of the slope, his singe leg stubbornly fought with the resistance, the cab shook left and right reluctantly.
      Ling knew his face must have turned purple, he breathed heavily after they rode over the top of the slope; the road became flat again. Ling admired him, his strength against his tragedy, he succeeded in his life, he threw the road and the slope behind him, he made a living, a proud living.

      “You are really great!” Ling said after his breaths got normal.
      “This is just a piece of cake. I had ridden more than 40 kilometers earlier this year, with two passengers.”
      “Why such a long distance?”
      “There were two South Korea tourists; they wanted to go around HengShan Road with Pedi Cab. They on purposely chose mine, thought I’d give up half way. Hi, of course my right leg wouldn’t disgrace Chinese Pedi cab riders.” He told proudly.

      Ling didn’t no what to say, she felt sad and proud all at the same time, Tina said handicapped people in Holland all drove a electrical car around in parks and supermarkets, they had special entrance to buses and special toilets prepared for their convenience in many public areas.

      Quite a distance from May’s flat, Ling got off and paid the rider 10¥, he insisted to receive 6, it was agreed, he said, he had to keep his words. Ling didn’t push. She walked towards May’s flat after watching the rider disappearing into those shabby buildings.

      May was pulling her neck waiting for Ling, “Why didn’t you call a Pedi cab back?”
      “I did.” Ling answered.
      “Why didn’t you ask him to bring you to the door, you know those riders always cheat non-locals, you are too soft.” May warned Ling another time, without getting any answer back, May thought Ling must be in the painful process of denouncing her own mistakes, she kept silent and let Ling in.

      May warmed up some fried rice for mute Ling.
      “Don’t get too depressed, Ling. I am already here fore nearly 3 months; you just came for not yet 3 weeks. What do you expect?” without waiting for an answer, May continued, “But there is one good news, our manger in □□ called that Taiwan head office is planning to set up another point in Wu Xi city as the SARS is over now, Wu Xi is less than 2 hours by train from here, he suggested me to contact the head office. What do you think?”

      “I think it is great. You once wanted to go over to Inner Mongolia to be a founder of a □□ point, Wu Xi is a much better location.” Ling was really glad at the news.
      “I mean if I would get the chance at all, considering that I am a workless now for nearly 3 months…” May became insecure,
      “May, you knew how good you are, you left Shenyang □□ because of you couldn’t get any higher there, to be a founder of a new point will be just ideal for you, besides the Taiwan head office mangers knew your ability long ago.” Ling got back all the hope again after the ride a while ago, if that cab rider could make a proud living, what were May and herself and all the other people afraid of?

      “Thank you, Ling, sometimes I am just scared, if you were refused by 100 interviews, you’d really lose the faith in yourself.” May shook her head, couldn’t believe there could be a day that Ling was giving her confidence.
      “Even a falling leave has its value, to turn into soil nurturing flowers; we’d all just be fine.” Ling smiled.

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