《GGAD通信集- Thirty-five Owls》林待玉

10、The Ninth Owl(From AD) 1953.

　　January 1st, 1953

　　公元1953年，一月1日

　　Dear Gellert,

　　亲爱的盖勒特，

　　You do seem to realize that you will not talk me out of my plans for the object in question, for which I am glad. It would be a shame to wear the wings off owls arguing over this for the rest of our lives.

　　你似乎明白你不会以种种反对的言论来劝说我放弃我的计划，为此我不胜喜悦。我们的余生要是都被消磨在在猫头鹰的翅膀上争论这一点可就太遗憾了。

　　Of course I have felt it, the temptation of it, as you have. But do you realize the danger of it, old friend? Surely the old history of Ilmarinen has spread to your corners of the North. There are some things that must be destroyed. And it is not, Gellert, alive. This is crucial. It has no memory, no soul, no life within it. It is not murder to end it, to prevent it from drowning future generations in blood as it has ours.

　　我当然深切地感受到了它，它的诱惑，像你一样。但你明白它的危险么，老朋友？想必伊尔玛利宁的古老历史已传播到了你北方的每一个角落。有些事物是必须被摧毁的。并且它冷冰冰的，盖勒特，毫无生命。这是最重要的一点。它的内里没有记忆，没有灵魂，也没有生命。终结它不是一种谋杀，而是防止它染在我们手上并吞没了我们的鲜血再去吞没我们的后代。

　　One of its powers, I fear, is that the wizards that bond to it do so with an obsessive passion that borders on twisted love. I am saddened to see you affected by this. But I will not apologize for what must be done for一 yes— the greater good. The future will be better off without the temptations this thing offers. Breaking its blood inheritance will turn over a new leaf in the relations between the powerful wizards who are steeped in the mysteries... oh, dear. New leaves. I'm afraid that writing on New Year's makes me maudlin.

　　我很恐惧它的一种力量，那种好比扭曲的爱的、易使人深陷其中无法自拔的激情正是它给任何一名接近他的巫师的一种枷锁。我很痛心的看见你曾亦被这种力量所侵蚀。但我绝不会为这必做的事道歉，为了——是的——更伟大的利益。没有了这种事物源源不断涌现的诱惑，未来将会更好。终结它的血腥历史将会让那些沉湎于难解之谜的优秀巫师之间的关系翻到崭新的一页……哦，苍天啊。新的开始。我怕在新年这一天写信令我恸血泪盈臆。

　　But, yet, again, I am sorry for the condition I must l leave you in.

　　但，仍然，再重复一遍，我很抱歉我必须把你弃于此种境地。

　　Yet you are correct. Cruel as it is to say, it is the truth一 l am ashamed, to have been your lover, if lover' is even the word for such as us. Yet it is a small pleasure that I am able to provide you with some comfort through those memories. I thought, though, that you liked hearing the screams of Muggles?

　　你依旧是正确的。这么说很残酷，但这是事实——我的确为曾是你的恋人而羞愧，如果“恋人”这个词对我们适用的话。但想到我至少有力以那些记忆给你带来些许的慰藉，我仍然感到一丝小小的欢愉。可是，我想，你过去还是更喜欢听麻瓜们的尖叫吧？

　　It is a bad habit of mine to distract people with sweets. In lieu of that, perhaps, more books? I think Gertrude's grammatical eccentricities might provide you with some entertainment.

　　用甜食分散人们的注意力是我的一个坏习惯。也许，可以用更多的书来代替？我想格特鲁德语法的怪癖可能能给你解解闷儿。

　　I admit, Gellert, that I've been thinking overlong myself on our boyhood time together. It has been so long since I was so intimate with another, without fear, without withholding. You are correct again: I cannot change history. And it is difficult to deny the joy of those months spent in abandoned pleasure and ambition, when I thought that you and your brilliance would save me. But the cost, Gellert. The cost! You left me burying my sister and forever uncertain own decency. You left me with parts of myself I must ever hide.

　　我不得不承认，盖勒特，我很长以来一直在思考我们韶华正好时在一起的时光里的我自己。自那以后很久很久，我都没有毫无顾虑，毫无克制的和别人亲密过了。你又一次正确了：我完全无法改变历史。的确很难否认那在放纵、兴奋与野心中度过的几个月给人的欢愉，我那时满心以为你和你的才气能让我罪孽可满。但是我为此付出了代价，盖勒特，代价！你留下我埋葬我的妹妹并且再琢磨不透我自己的品行。你留下了我必须永远藏匿起来的那部分自己。

　　Ah, here is the dawn, coming up cold and misty over the Scottish hills. No potted fields here around Hogwarts— wild enough for you, I dare say. The clouds are thick round the dark forest near the ground, and I have not slept tonight, and I…

　　哦，我这里晨光熹微，冷气与迷雾开始弥漫于苏格兰的小丘。霍格沃茨的周围并没有散着小块田野——我敢说，这狂野对你也尽够了。厚厚的云层环绕着场地附近黑暗而压抑的森林，我今夜始终未寝，我……

　　Enjoy your books. Gellert.

　　好好享受你的书吧，盖勒特。

　　[enclosure: Everybody's Autobiography, Gertrude Stein]

　　［附件：《每个人的自传》，格特鲁德·斯坦因著］

　　译者注：
　　［1］Ilmarinen(伊尔玛利宁)：《卡勒瓦拉》中的三位主要英雄之一，原始工人，他被坑到波赫尤拉造出了象征财富与幸福的三宝（万奈摩宁你是真的损），但三宝后来被毁，AD在此应该是想说明老魔杖注定要被毁，不过GG当时好像没有明白，后文还会提到。

　　[2]No potted fields here around Hogwarts（霍格沃茨的周围并没有分布着小块田野）:应该是对第六封信GG说霍格沃茨周围散乱无稽的分布着小块田野的回应，感觉AD在这里描写这黑暗而荒凉的情景颇有一种和GG同是天涯沦落人的感觉……（欲哭）

　　[3] 《每个人的自传》:格特鲁德·斯坦因著，一本超小众的书（至少在中国如此）以前就在豆丁网上看到了一次。看的云里雾里的，后来还找不到了（晕），在此就先把我在豆丁网看到的的简介抄给你们（就不知道准不准）:
　　这本书主要讲述了作者跟他的同性恋人艾丽丝一行人去美国做讲座的所见所想，侧重描写了作者成为名人后，在旅程和平常生活中，人们对她友好和尊重的态度，其中还穿插着　作者由各种所见所闻引发的回忆和思考。