12、第十一只猫头鹰 ...
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July 11th, 1956
Mister Supreme Mugwump Sir, and of course I heard about that particular commendation—
尊敬伟大的至高无上的长官先生，我当然已经听说了这项特殊的荣誉——
The rest of our lives, you say? Forever, you say? Are we wedded by owl, then? Am I bound to your sanctimonious pronouncements as permanently as the lichen on my walls? The orange spot is becoming particularly magnificent. There is green like scales, green like little leaves. They grow unimaginably slowly. My whole life has become glacial. It's been more than ten years, hasn't it? More than ten years in one single little room. I thought I'd go mad. Maybe I have.
我们的余生，你是这样说的吗？永远，对吗？我们要在猫头鹰的翅膀上结婚了？然后呢？我会像纽蒙迦德墙上的青苔一样，被你虚情假意的誓言所束缚吗？这些橙色斑点愈演愈烈，青绿的则如鳞细腻，又像是新萌的嫩叶。他们生长的速度实在是无法想象地缓慢，我的人生业已与它无异。已经过去十多年了，不是吗？十多年来都待在一个狭小的房间里，我想我可能快疯了。……或许也已经是了。
Headmaster. Bollocks. Schweinhund. Look at you. Look at you, the great Albus Dumbledore, International Mugwump of the Grand Posh Scheisse-Swarm, hunching over your New Year's ale because you fucked a German boy decades ago and can never love again or some nonsense—and you still blame me for her death, don't you, Albus? It was an accident, you drunken idiot, an accident, it wasn't me, I swear, I only fled in fear—
校长，他妈的见鬼去吧，小杂种。看看你，看看你吧。伟大的阿不思·邓布利多，国际著名的高级魔法联合会会长，在新年夜里这么狼狈不堪，就因为十多年前被一个德国小子操了，说着之后再也无法爱上任何人又或者其他什么之类的屁话——你仍然因为她的死责怪我，不是吗，阿不思？那是个意外，你这个醉酒的傻子，一个意外。那不是我，我发誓，我只是因为害怕才走掉的——
And look at me. Gellert Grindelwald. There was a time when every child in Wizarding Europe cheered for my name or shrunk from it. There was a time when I cast curses that stripped the leaves from every tree for thirty feet with the mere wind of their passing—there was a time when I was on the verge of establishing, truly establishing, a new world order, a bright new future, and I would have done it for you and me—and here I am, rotting, lonely enough to care what some poncy old British git thinks of me. You must have enjoyed the thought, yes, that I might be haunted by the screams of my victims? Does that fit your idea of how things work, that I lie awake at night tossing and turning from the ghosts of my past? And do you, Albus? Little Ariana held you back from hunting me down for years, didn't she?
再看看我，盖勒特·格林德沃。曾有过一个时期，所有出生在欧洲魔法界的孩子都为这个名字欢呼或颤抖过。曾有过一段时间，我抛出的咒语落在风中，就能将它经过的叶子从30多英尺的树上剥离。曾经有过一个曾经，我几乎建立了，真正地建立了，一个新世界的秩序，一个光明的未来。我曾为了你和我做过这些——而现在我在这里，腐烂着，甚至孤独到关心一个矫揉造作的英国蠢货怎么看我。你一定很享受这种感觉，也是，谁知道我会不会被那些麻瓜的尖叫声整日纠缠呢？但如果我告诉你，夜晚时，我被那些死去的灵魂所困扰，因而辗转反侧，整夜难眠，这会和你的观念背道而驰吗？这会吗，阿不思？小安娜让你阻止我的想法滞后了好多年，不是吗？
News. NEWS, Dumbledore? News from this oubliette you left me in? Four years without a letter—the charms on my watch are holding perfectly well, thank you, I know how long it's been—and then only to brag that you're Headmaster? [a dark, indecipherable blotch of ink]
消息，消 息 呢，邓布利多？你把我关进这间密牢之后的消息呢？四年了，连封信也没有——我表上的魔法仍然保持得非常完美，谢谢你，我知道过去了多久——然后你就只是自矜你当上了校长？[一大片深色的，无法辨认的墨渍]
It's sweet, really, your bewilderment. You can't understand how I could possibly be angry at you, can you? Because you mean well, because you approach me in friendship, I couldn't really be upset, now could I? Just sulking again, right?
真可爱，你这种困惑的样子。你不明白我为什么对你生气，是吗？因为你是怀着善意，因为你是带着友谊来接近我的，我不可能真的生气，我怎么能呢？又像上次那样生闷气，不是吗？
Gertrude is a crazy bitch. What lesson are you trying to teach me? What game of yours am I playing in now? We already finished one, the one where you spend every day with me, give me your body and your mind, and then blame me for an accident and betray me and leave me to do our work alone? And then the next, where you set me upon my path, share my plans, hunt the Hallows with me, give me the very words by which I forged my philosophy, and then, at your leisure, when you've watched enough, wander over from England in the name of truth and justice and bat me out of the sky?
格特鲁德就是个发疯的婊子。你在试图给我灌输什么？现在又拿我在玩什么游戏？我们已经结束过了一个，不就是那个你曾经整日和我黏在一起，将身心都交付与我，后来又为了一场意外责怪我，背叛我、抛弃我一个人去完成我们事业的游戏吗？还有呢，你让我走上这条道路，参与我的计划，和我一起寻找圣器，给了我正确的指导来锻造三观。然后呢，再等你悠闲了，看够了，漫步在以真理和公正为名的英格兰土地上，又把我从空中一脚踹下来？
You forged me, Dumbledore. You forged me and formed me and let me loose in the world. And I think your little brother would agree that you have a habit of ignoring uncomfortable truths.
你成就了我，邓布利多。你成就了我，塑造了我，又让我被世界遗忘。我想你那个弟弟会认同这个想法——你总习惯于忽视令人难以接受的真相。
But enough about you. Let's talk about me, your haunted and broken pet Dark Lord, your misbegotten experiment, who used to spin sweet spells round your body and smile as you begged him to bugger you? And who, I wonder, knows that? Is that one of those things you must ever hide? Poor Albus.
谈论你的事已经足够多了，现在来说说我吧，您那忧愁缠身又被伤透了心的宠物黑魔王，您的非法试验品。是谁过去常让甜蜜的念咒声缠上你的身体，又是谁在你求他干你的时候忍俊不禁？还有谁会知道这些，还有谁？这是又一件你必须藏匿起来的事，对吗？可怜的阿不思。
Yes, we go around in circles. Here I am back to mocking you until I can barely breathe for anger.
没错，我们就是在这么兜圈子。我又开始反过来嘲弄你了，直到怒火使我无法呼吸。
I have a new pen pal, Professor Dumbledore, aren't you proud? Never think that you're the only one I write to—god knows if you were, I would've bashed my head out on the wall years ago. And it's lovely, sometimes, to talk to somebody who doesn't disapprove of everything one is, a fellow Dark wizard, ambitious with abandon. British boy, very clever, a little stiff, silly made-up name—owled me out of the blue a few years ago looking to talk shop, as you'd say. Great mind, but no sense of humor. He seemed rather startled when I mentioned that I knew you.
我又有了一个新笔友，邓布利多教授，你不高兴吗？千万别觉得你是唯一与我通信的人——天知道如果真是这样，我应该早在几年前就去撞墙了。其实有时候，和一个与自己完全不同的人聊聊还挺愉快的——又一个野心勃勃的黑巫师。一个英国男孩，他非常聪明，但有些倔强，用着一个有点蠢的假名——他几年前突然写信给我，字字不离我的老本行，就像你说的，老本行。他脑子不错，但缺乏幽默感。在我提到我认识你的时候，他似乎过分惊讶了。
I told him that you were a user and a hypocrite, and to stay well away from you. Of course, he was already frightened of you. You might want to keep an eye out for him though. He could be a dangerous lad. And how could you possibly handle a Dark Lord who isn't your lapdog?
我告诉他你是一个利用者，一个伪君子，让他离你远点。当然，他已经很害怕你了。也许你想盯着点他，这家伙可能会变得很危险。但你又要怎么去控制一个黑魔王？它又不像我一样是你的小宠物。
Be well uncertain of your decency, Albus Dumbledore. And Gertrude is a crazy bitch.
享受你那脆弱的体面吧，阿不思·邓布利多。另外，那个格特鲁德就是个发疯的婊子。
注：
1.glacial 缓慢的，冰封的 释义常用作“缓慢的”，but为什么好多通信集的翻译都给的是第二个（孩怕）。我把My whole life has become glacial这一句和青苔联系在一起了，不然感觉说这个好没来由。
2.这个“墙上”和“斑点”这些词语很容易就会让我联想到伍尔夫的另一部小说《墙上的斑点》，写的大概是一个人发散的思维，意识流派。文中的女主人公盯着墙上的那个斑点（蜗牛）感觉就很像是GG盯着墙上的这些青苔，如果两者真的有联系，感觉作者太太可能还比较认可伍尔夫，或者想说她的影响力很大。邓教寄《海浪》的时间节点是伍尔夫去世十年之后，她在世时就已经是很有名气的作者了。
3.哈哈哈哈哈哈哈GG被格特鲁德的语法折磨到了。当时就是想知道GG认为AD在给他灌输什么才萌生了要去看《每个人的自传》的想法，但是很遗憾这本书在中国没有被正式翻译过，我顶多只能了解到格特鲁德写的这个好像是关于自恋什么的。费劲一番周折好不容易找到了原文，要是你们想要可以去某伏特私我，同名，晋江不好发私信。
4.“在猫头鹰的翅膀上结婚”这句借鉴了知乎阿七的翻译。
作者有话说
第12章 第十一只猫头鹰
