《On The Same Days》橄榄树

43、22nd Tuesday April 2003 Amsterdam

　　Een blinde schiet wel eens een kraai (A blind sometimes also shoot a crow)

　　This was the 3rd time Tina stroked in Nyenrode campus. Today she came for her last admission interview.
　　Luck was a strange thing, when you were completely in despair, giving up all your hope; it just came knocking on the door.
　　The adviser from that Fortis bank promised her the loan; as long as she’d pass this last round of admission procedure he’d send her the loan contract, 35,000 Euros without even asking her for any guarantee. Had she been too good a story teller or had he been not too good a money manager? Tina still couldn’t believe it.

　　“What if I just run away with the money?” She had asked,
　　“Give up Nyenrode for that amount of money? No one is that stupid.” Henry, the middle aged Dutch uncle had laughed,
　　“What if I am going to run away after graduation?”
　　“Back to China? Then I will come over and you may show me around your little village under snow.”
　　“You really have no doubt? You do believe that I will be able to pay it back?”
　　“Don’t you believe in yourself?”
　　“Doesn’t mean that you’d believe in me as well,”
　　“I have experiences of meeting thousands of loan applicants, believe me, I can tell who can be my future clients. You will come back to get another loan for a car, a house or maybe ask us to manage your funds one day.” Henry had joked at the nervous chicken, everyone would be just happy to get an exceptional offer, this little girl just kept fussing around.
　　“You know what? You just saved my life.” Tina had shaken Henry’s hand for a long while, restrained her urge to kiss him on his cheeks.

　　She jumped high into the air afterwards, mail-bombed everyone about her good news, of course the interview would never be a problem; she wasn’t bad in talking anyway, as long as she’d be given the chance.

　　Anna asked if Tina knew for sure that was what she really wanted, if yes, she wouldn’t be against it.
　　Lisa was coming back later in the afternoon, she said Tina must sign the contract immediately, she heard from the professional friends that the interest rates at the moment was very low and it was a very good chance to take loans rather than saving up.
　　The doctor had suggested Tina to go around and talk with all the loan experts in different banks, to compare the terms and conditions before choosing the best offer, never sign any contract too easily, he had warned. Then added, if she needed deposits or guarantees, just let him know.
　　Van de Heuvel had said the same, he felt embarrassed at the fact that he couldn’t help with the tuition but a few thousands deposits would be absolutely no problem. Tina was grateful all the same, if it hadn’t been Van de Heuvel’s proposal, she wouldn’t have gone to the information session in Nyenrode, if she hadn’t been to the information session, she wouldn’t get the bank brochures.

　　Van de Heuvel gave her the final push. So she told him, and she said she’d always remember that, sometimes it wasn’t the world giving up on her, but she gave up on herself, and at those times a dim flame of a burning match from friends was all what one needed to set life back on fire again.

　　John also offered to help her with the amount of deposit, from a practical Dutch point of view that was quite a rare offer from a newly made friend as Dutch were really famous for being stingy, said Cathy, who made loads a year and bought a house in Sweden while sharing a student room with Lisa. Lisa told once that Cathy’s husband was from Shanghai, god, so man from Shanghai were even more cool, they could train their non-Shanghai wives into Shanghai girls.

　　Still 10 minutes left, Tina practiced the interview mentally for another time.
　　Of course there’d be cultural shocks topics, she was actually through with this topic, she’s been repeating the same things more than thousands times over and over again, the food, the cloths, the working hours. But Chinese went to school, found a job, got married and had children too, probably in different orders than people here; usually a child trapped parents into a marriage here. They might live for different purposes as well. Chinese lived to make a fortune to hand over to their children before they went to hell while Dutch lived to make sure the last penny should be spent on a better grave stone before they went to heaven. But people work people die, what was the big deal about the differences after all.

　　5 minutes before her appointment, Tina knocked on the door. Two interviewers were sitting behind the table with her results of the intelligence test and application forms in front of them. Tina remembered them from the information session, shook their hands, took off her dark jacket, thanked the lady interviewer for the coffee, Tina settled herself in the chair cross them.

　　“I see you applied for Financial Management instead of General management. Why?” Mr. Bake, General management program manager started right away,
　　“Because numbers has never been my strongest point, I’d like to work on the weakness through the program.” Tina thought she’d better not saying anything bad about GM program in front of the program manager,

　　“Shouldn’t you think about to work on you strong points and avoid the weak ones?” Mrs. Hendrix was a bit surprised, only those who were really good at numbers applied for the FM program.
　　“I think this is the last chance that I can still give my weak points a try. Besides, FM subjects are things you have to learn from school, while GM subjects you may learn from work.” Tina felt the pressure; there wasn’t anything about culture at all.
　　“You filled in the blank for ideal position with a ‘Top:-)’, what do you mean by that?” Mr. Bake pointed to the application form without smile,

　　Tina flushed, she had no idea how to answer the question; she thought she could get away with a joke, but they weren’t easy people. She had never really thought about what would be an ideal position would be, she never dared, and she didn’t know, was that something wise to say to the program managers that she had no idea about where and what she wanted to be? “It meant the top management of those big firms,” she quickly made something up,
　　“Such as?”
　　“Such as Shell, Philips, KPN or Unilever,”
　　“Why those big names?”
　　“For a better recognition in China if I will be back one day,”
　　“Are you planning to go back to China?”
　　“After pay back the loan, after 5-10 years working here, I probably will.”

　　“Tell us something about yourself, please.”
　　There came the question Tina hated most, but she had to tell. They indeed pitied her, the village girl from a masculine tribune crying for things beyond her touch. Mrs. Hendrix made her another cup coffee. Tina felt her eyes got wet, she hated to be pitied!!!

　　“What is the most important quality of a good manager, do you think?” Mr. Bake changed to another topic,
　　“Anyway not too emotional,” Tina tried to compose herself, they laughed and waited for her answer, “I believe to get along with people.”
　　“Team player you mean?”
　　“Yes,”
　　“Have you done team projects in the HAS?”
　　“Often,”
　　“What has been your function mostly?”
　　“Leader, not that they chose me from the beginning or I volunteered myself, it was just as time passing by I usually got more and more involved than others and eager to have things sorted out.”
　　“If you divide the tasks, who usually get the most work to do?”
　　“I myself, otherwise they might think I am unfair,”
　　“What do you do with the riders? Those who don’t complete their share of the assignment,”
　　“Try to get them involved and inspired and interested,”
　　“If they still wouldn’t do their tasks and the tasks have to be done?”
　　“I will do it.” Tina had been doing that not only once, she hated to fight with people over some assignment, no harm done to learn more things, wasn’t it? Those stupid foolish free riders had no idea how much would they miss by not completing their share of the tasks.
　　“But you have to be tough sometimes, and speak up. There are students here who would lean on you to do more work than you can manage, the programs here will be intense.’ Mrs. Hendrix warned,
　　“You are too easy to be agreeable, as your psychology test reveals, that’s why we want to ring you a bell, but I would do just the same as you.” Mr. Bake smiled.

　　“What will you do if you won’t be admitted to Nyenrode?” Mrs. Hendrix asked,
　　“That would be the worst scenario ever, but I will go for a master program in other universities.” Knew it was the last question, Tina lied, she couldn’t tell that she had completely no any other choice at all, Henry at Fortis would only grant her the loan on the condition she’d be accepted by Nyenrode.

　　Although Tina had a good feeling about the interview, she wasn’t 100% sure. Changed from bus to train, to another train, by the time Tina arrived Schipol airport, Lisa’s flight already landed. Tina raced to the arrival gate with terrible noises of her heels, she couldn’t find Lisa among the kissing and hugging Dutch crowds, she called, Lisa was still queuing up for the security check. Tina was happy that she managed to be there as Leo suddenly told Lisa that he got some family matters to deal with, it would too dreadful for Lisa to be back in a foreign country after lost her last family member there at home, no, there wasn’t home for the poor girl anymore.

　　After Tina leaning on the pole for more than half an hour, the crowded arrival gate became cleared up again, Lisa wheeled her luggage out. Tina gave Lisa a hug, took over the luggage trolley. When Lisa started to tell about the security check asked her loads questions over her health condition for fear of SARS as she flew from Shanghai, Tina was relieved. If one still knew to complain, then she was still alive. Lisa must have survived from the loss and the pain. Or at least, she could put it down somewhere and go further.

　　Tina stayed with Lisa for the night in Lisa’s room; Cathy was back to Sweden again. They talked about everything except how did Lisa’s father passed away and why Leo couldn’t come to pick Lisa up.
　　Lisa said she decided to go back to Shanghai after master program in Sydney University. “My friends around my age all worked up to managerial positions, with big bright offices in modern new buildings, I was so ashamed to tell about my placement here.” Lisa hated very much too that Paramount hadn’t offer her a working permit.
　　“But you were planning to immigrate to Australia, aren’t you?”
　　“Just to get their passport for an easy come and easy go, to work we still have to go back to China. You’d just never be able to cross the invisible nationalism barriers, Cathy had experienced it all, up to a certain level, no matter how good you are, you will simply never be given the chance to climb beyond that .”
　　“It could be true, but there are always exceptions.” Tina tried to cheer Lisa up.
　　“Don’t be too dreamy just because of you bumped into some good luck, the reality is different. To make money is different than to borrow money.” Lisa couldn’t understand why Tina still walked in the clouds after so many disasters.
　　“I met someone when you are not here.” Tina changed the topic, it worked.
　　“What!? Why hadn’t you mail me? Who is it?” Lisa sat up in her bed,
　　“John,”
　　“Who is John? What does he do? How did you know each other? White or yellow? Where does he live? Tell me all about it.”
　　…….
　　…….
　　“Take the chance, Tina, don’t be too dreamy and naive, life is practical, keep him as a back up, what if you can’t get a working permit after Nyenrode?” Lisa tried yet once again to pour some senses into Tina’s head.

　　“Why don’t you take Leo then? You don’t even have to go all the way to Australia.” Tina snapped, she knew Lisa meant good for her, but she hated to even think about it, if she needed a boyfriend for identity, she’d rather make it a pure business deal, hold a board on the street saying something like fresh Chinese cabbage on sale for a working permit.

　　“If Leo is 5.66 years older than I am and stop hiding under her mother’s umbrella, I mightn’t go away at all.” Lisa clouded her face again. She couldn’t tell Tina why Leo couldn’t pick her up, the mother of Leo had ordered him not to, for fear of SARS, and he listened. How would she be able to live her whole life with such a boy? No matter how gentle, how lovely he was, now matter how had she missed him much during the past month, she deserved at least a man who could pick her up from the airport, wasn’t she?

　　The old topic again, age difference, Tina shook her head, “One need time to grow up, we both had been young too.”
　　“Were you living under you mother’s command when you were 22?”
　　“My mother told me to stop making troubles under her nose and I am here now.”
　　“If you like Leo that much, he is all yours.”
　　“John is available for you too.”
　　“Beside, Leo never said anything above normal friendship to me, what if he indeed took me as his big sister, just nothing more than normal friendship?”
　　Tina went to the kitchen, took a glass of orange juice back. Set it on table, a few seconds later 3 layers came out, juice above, oranges grains at the bottom, another layer of mixed smashed orange foams in the middle.
　　“Can you see any clear lines between the 3 layers? There isn’t a line at all actually. You are drifting somewhere in the middle, and it is up to you to decide which side you are.” Tina shook the glass; all the layers were gone and mixed into some yellowy liquid, “Now this happened, because of his mother, you both get lost, but give more time, all will be Ok again.”
　　Lisa watched the 3 layers came out again after a few seconds. Shook her head disapprovingly and laughed, “I thought I’d be the one who needed a doctor, now I am relieved, you got even worse nerves.”