4、18th June Tuesday 2002 Amsterdam ...
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’t Is of er een engeltje op je tong piest?(An angel dances on your tongue)
Woke by the lunch pause bell, Christina went to the HAS Café for her lunch as well as breakfast—two cups of coffee, to keep awake for the afternoon lectures. Students with all different languages crowded out of the lift talking and laughing, Christina decided to walk the stairs. It was a big luxury anyway to not walking a whole day as in Floirade, but sitting in the classroom sleepy or absentminded with teachers walking in front and did the talking.
Carefully held the coffee cup, Christina wanted to escape from the crowds back to the empty classroom, before she reached the door, she saw Jenny waving at her from a corner, Jenny was one of the only 3 Chinese friends she had in the HAS, one real Chinese majored in Finance, a Taiwanese of the same major one semester ahead, and Jenny, a Hong Kong Chinese with Dutch citizenship also the same major.
Without making ups in a simple white sport outfit, Jenny looked young and innocent, the last one whom you might think as a hostess of a famous Chinese restaurant here. It took Christina half a year to know that Jenny had been married for nearly 10 years already.
“More lectures later on?” Christina seldom saw Jenny appears in school in afternoons. Jenny scheduled her lectures mostly in the morning, left afternoon free for her hostess activities.
“No, my parking ticket is not due yet, came for a cup of tea before go to fitness club. “Have you already found a placement company?” Jenny sipped her tea, never coffee for healthy reasons.
“A dozen CVs gone weeks ago, but very few responses, bad economy plus wrong nationality, I may as well just selling breads for money and fake a placement report.” Christina turned blue on placement topics.
She had been very enthusiastic a few weeks ago, mail bombed a list of international companies around Amsterdam, after a few interviews she realized the problem, no one wanted to bother spend unnecessary effort and time to apply a working permit for a trainee of a few month.
There were more than enough students of the whole European Union fighting for a place, just how could you convince them that you were better than anyone out of the whole Europe and you deserved the extra efforts. Many Chinese students went back to China for their internships in companies of their fathers or uncles.
“How about going back? You haven’t been home for long.” suggested Jenny.
“Less than a year is not really long, though felts like ages. But going back is no option. Even I can manage the rent here, air tickets and loads gifts there, but I will be back with nothing for the semester after. I don’t want any Chinese company look down on me either, a silly girl kicked back by foreigners.” Christina smiled a bit bitter.
“You big mouth, I had my placement in HK and it was fine.”
“HK is different than Mainland.”
“You are different than me too. You are much younger, smarter. You will find anything in Beijing or Shanghai.”
Christina waved her head, she meant HK to be better per business environments then mainland, but Jenny misunderstood. “Don’t you think others consider you as my little sister? My soul might well be 10 times older than yours.”
“Ok, ghost, it’s time for me to go, I will call you when I know the Strategic Overview retake date, thanks for helping me out, I may never be able to graduate without you.”
“No problem.” Watching Jenny heading out to the lift for her fitness club, Christina waved her head again. Jenny was a typical eastern bony beauty of 154cm, 40kilo. No men could resist the impulse to protect her, which was her reason to go fitness, not to get stronger, but even bonier.
No wonder her husband felt so insecure during her internship in HK, that poor fellow much older than Jenny couldn’t follow her around, it might be hard for any Chinese to imagine, but a boss of a restaurant here had to serve the table very often too, never dream an easy life under “Kui lao”’s roof, Kui lao was a Cantonese word to categorize foreigners, literarily meant Old Ghost, might have something to do with the fear of the first Cantonese who were attacked by the inhuman appearance of the first Kuilao.
Jenny treated her study rather serious, she did want to get graduated with a diploma, otherwise she wouldn’t kept re-taking those exams which she called her bloody nightmares, Christina went for the nightmares a few times on Jenny’s behalf by taking advantages of their similarity, these Kui Laos just couldn’t tell one elephant from another rabbit, well, they both had long black Chinese hair, flat Chinese face anyway.
Christina didn’t think herself as cheating, many brainless crazy guys who did nothing in a project get a ride as pass too, Jenny deserved far more as she really tried her very best.
At a matter of fact, she never choose those courses with no projects but one final exam if only she had the choice, to the very contrary of Christina, Christina never chose a course with team projects if only she had the choice. It cost too much precious time for the endless group meeting half spend on sharing everyone’s last weekends.
No chance to check e-mails anymore, no free computer before 4 pm except making terrible noises to drive someone away. Took out her notes from last week’s lecture, she would like to check out where would the Dutch lesion starts later on. Oh, shit, Christina suddenly stood up, grab her bags and jacket, threw the plastic cups in the bin, ran with full power to her classroom, she had to manage her homework, a letter to family in Dutch in 15 minutes before the lecturer came, the assignments counted 15 % of final result for the course, she totally forgot it.
Out of breath, sitting in the second front row, Christina started with her homework, god knows she hadn’t write to her family for years since the last time her letter got lost on the way home a few years ago when she was still in China.
The postman from the nearest town only send all the letters of a few villages to the primary school, then little children carried on further. There is no other way as the 100 houses in the village have no numbers, no street name, just a cluster of houses and the postman wouldn’t be able to do his job. She couldn’t even imagine how they would deal with an English addressed letter, with a piece of Dutch message in it.
But this was the luckiest homework she dared to forget, no need any extra work of internet surfing, just went on with “how are you, how is the cat, the dog, the horse, the pig, the chicken, the duck, the hen, the goose and the neighbors” would be well done and long enough.
Helen came in as the second, the Taiwanese friend of Christina, they met each other in this Dutch lecture. A girl who was one year younger than Christina, lived 4 years in Amsterdam already, the last 3 and half year together with a Dutch citizenship Turkish boyfriend disapproved by her parents, they wanted her back to Taiwan, her father was a high executive in China Airline and her mother in charge of a big publish house.
“One more sentence.” Christina said before Helen could open her mouth.
“Take your time, had Mr. De Hoog ever showed up on time?” Helen complained as always. Threw herself on the chair next to Christina, Helen took out a Pink Hello Kitty pen bag and lovely light blue Hello Kitty note book, “Look, I just bought it from a newly opened shop,” she waved a little shinning purple Hello Kitty key ring before Christina, “ I’ve never seen this anywhere else yet, isn’t it beautiful?”
“Very lovely indeed,” Christina signed her name at the bottom of the letter and turned to Helen,
“Where did you discover the shop?” there should be no new shops to Helen in Amsterdam, she spent all Christina’s working days shopping or window-shopping.
“You didn’t hear me, it is not a discovery, but an establishment, you have to go there, near Leids Square, Spui street, real nice stuff, beautiful tiny Hello Kitties.” Christina saw the shop in Helen’s eyes. She admired Helen’s enthusiasm over these children stuff, and her always perfect formal modern outfits, charming, smart and businesslike.
Christina wished she has 1 percent of Helen’s taste in cloth, the two of them were similar in length and weight, but Christina felt herself indeed very earthy and huge in her loose black jeans and T-shirt next to the shinning Helen. She even hated it when Helen constantly asked if the brown boots matched the terra cotta top, or if the purple handbag matched the green skirt. She hated it when Helen spent much longer time then she did to select suitable outfit for an interview or presentation. Why Helen couldn’t realize the fact that she looked just perfect in all of her combinations?
“Shouldn’t you donate something for those homeless real kitties in that Cat boat?” Christina didn’t like the idea much of Helen water pouring her money out on non-necessities. But she knew they wouldn’t reach anywhere in this topic.
“Christina, would you like to have this one? I still have one spare at home.” Helen showed her white teeth with the sweetest smile.
“No, thanks, save me the trouble of spending time and euros for fishing a proper gift back for you.”
“But you don’t have to.”
“You got it. I do not have the time and money to. When is your graduation date?” Christina knew better to change another topic.
“19th Augustus, still two months away, I will go back home first for one or two week, then come back for the graduation.” Helen never spent more than 3 months consecutively in the Netherlands so far. Her father arranged her free flights whenever the Amsterdam-Taiwan flights were not full. They had been rarely full ever since 11th Sep last year.
“Have you already defended your thesis then?”
“We have talked about it last time when we had dinner together with my thesis supervisor.” Helen started to work on her nails, she was right, class were half full with students chatting, no lecturer.
“Dinner with your supervisor?” Christina stared full disbelief at Helen, who was playing with her nails,
“Yes, Mrs. Van de Paal is my study adviser, my placement supervisor and thesis supervisor all in one. We became friends through the years.” answered Helen flat as if she often worked her nails together with her supervisor too.
“Well, good,” Christina had talked only once with her study adviser on the day of admission interview, placement supervisor was a total stranger she never heard of, she believed she would get another stranger for her thesis too. She wouldn’t mind at all, it was just… “Will you go back Taiwan or stay here?”
“I have talked with my boyfriend. We will go to the city hall to sign the Samenwonen contract.” Samenwonen was a legal form of living together in the Netherlands without bothering to wed.
“Are your parents posted of your plan?”
“No, I will try to find a job here to shut their mouths up. I can surely live on my own here rather then go to anywhere else they order me to.” Helen had her stubbornness.
“If you sign the contract, then you get a working permit?”
“Not as simple as that, we are only allowed to sign the contract when my boyfriend get his one year contract from work, which he hopes to get in two months when his probation period is due, loads of paper works needs to be done, and a few months waiting before for the Labor Bureau reaches their decision to grant me the working permit.” Helen didn’t sound too bright.
“What will you do in the coming few months then, before the working permit gets granted?”
“Try to stay home, otherwise I will be long broke before getting a job, I can’t keep asking money from my parents after graduation, not when I have to fight against their wills.” Helen sounded the first time in her whole life a bit insecure.
“Take it easy, you can find any job you like even without a working permit, you can always tell the companies that you will present them the working permit a few months later but start working first.” Christina comforted the girl who never has to worry about make a living.
“Do you think that would do?” Helen was actually not sure at all, but at worst she would be able to work in half a year. She wouldn’t die in six months. She could always borrow some money from friends.
“What will you do with your placement then?” Helen never understood how on earth did this mainland girl without any sugar daddy either mommy managed to stay in the same city and the same school her daddy arranged for her after bothered half of his business relations. She knew Christina worked like hell, no wonder the girl didn’t have a boyfriend yet for being here almost a whole year. “Christina, do you want to come for dinner together with a few male Dutch friends?”
“No, thanks, I am still a very happy single who only washes her own socks, save all your male friends.” Christina never looked down at any girls who chose a short cut for a residence or working permit, she understood too well what kind of hell she herself was in, but she was not going to give in, never to any of those Kui Lao. Christina knew she might shut out the possibilities of something real, who cares, she had no time for anything anyway, real or false, before she would clean herself out from the debt, take her family out of that village, she had no time for nothing.
“Good afternoon, dear students.” Mr. De Hoog came in with his sweaty face, “I am sorry that I am late, my wife borrowed my car today, I had to take public transportation and I never know what a mess it is.” Tina had to smile, what kind of a distinction, my wife borrowed my car.
“Next time please don’t subtract out points of presence if we are late, we take public means everyday.” Coquetted a few of his favorite German girls with their very German Dutch.
“Let’s start to talk about public transport situations in your own Countries. Everyone has 10 minutes to prepare and then come in front to give a 1 minutes presentation,” he was pleased at the inspirations those Germans girls offered him, “ I got to grab a cup of coffee in the mean time.” Left the long awaited classroom on those words, Mr. De Hoog disappeared after 2 minutes appearance.
“I’d like a cup of coffee too,” a French girl next to the other side of Christina mumbled in her Frenchised English stressed the first syllable of every word.
The class burst into a boiling pot of dis-united nations again, no one talked in Dutch.
Helen went on with her nails and Christina wished she hadn’t drunk two cups of coffee to stay put.
After 10 past 5, Christina came out from her last lesion of the day. It seemed not so enjoyable either to sit for more than 8 hours a day. She had no choice but to schedule the 3 school days really full to make the other 2 days free. Computer room was now almost empty. Most students already went home for dinner. Christina opened her hotmail account first, cancelled dozens of junks, five mails left, among which 3 needs to be answered.
The first one from Anna offered to hand her CVs out to members of a kind of charity club if Christina wanted to. Christina thanked her and put the offer on hold, she believed herself worth another try.
The second one from a Dutch firm Christina must have mail bombed, offering an interview. No idea which firm it was, Christina checked up the website given in the e-mail. Yes, it was the small Disney children staffs trading firm, they probably needed a Chinese to help them locate the cheapest labor area. Christina didn’t answer the mail right away, but went to read the next one.
It is from Wilma, her landlady of the attic, one stairs distance they had to mail each other. Internet minimized the world, ha ha. What? Wilma was saying that she was confirmed by the hospital of lever cancer, she was going to be operated in 3 weeks, by then her daughters and sons and their in laws would come to see her, which meant the attic is needed for guests. Poor Wilma, the old woman just came out of court defending her house from her ex-husband and now… Christina replied immediately that she would move out at any time to one of her Chinese friends’ apartment and she would like to be of any help for Wilma, say running errands if needed.
After that Christina started to panic, she had no one to move to. Jenny lived with her husband and his mother, Helen lived with the Turkish Dutch, Lisa, the real Chinese girl from south China, shared her HAS apartment with her former colleague who rooted in Sweden but working for Nokia Holland now. No room for Christina. Nowhere.
To find a room in two or 3 weeks time in Amsterdam was a joke, except train stations. Christina was not even sure if the train stations run 24 hours or not. No free school apartments till the beginning of a new semester, even if there were, only for exchange students and first year international students, Christina was actually both, a new HAS student attending exchange programs, but technically neither, she registered as a regular 3rd year student of the HAS.
Forgetting to reply the e-mail of interview, she started to surf all the housing websites, there were rooms available indeed, none that she’d be able to afford, not with her coins made from making someone’s breads to feed some others, soon she’d got no breads to feed herself.
Take it easy, anything could happen in two weeks, she told herself. Now behave usual, the Chinese e-mail account had to be checked, even more junks. Also 3 needs left to answer, first one from the most arrogant boy of her class in college, he informed her that he would come to Leiden University in two months and asked her to pick him up at Schipol Airport, she said no problem if she would survive that long. She knew he would take her truth as a joke.
The second one from Ling who wondered if Christina was still alive, true care, on the contrary to her reaction to the last mail, Christina lied automatically “I am just very fine.”
The third one from a Chinese guy who Christina met in the Floriade park saying he would go back China for the vacation and asked her to ask around if anyone want to fill up his apartment for two months till September. Didn’t believe her eyes, Christina read the mail once again, then printed it out, after read it the third time on paper, she couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear, this couldn’t be true, this would never happen in real life, only in books or films you would run into a car at one moment with an ambulance arrives right on spot without any delay, there existed no pure luck in real life, or was it?
With altogether 3 months time, she might even able to get a free apartment from the HAS if she would register for the waiting list now. Life was nothing but a wonder.
She ran to the Accommodation office up 8th floor, closed already. God, she hadn’t answer the guy to keep the apartment yet, no, mail would be too slow, she called, ring, ring, ring…no one was there, please, ring, ring, ring… Ok, mail was better than no reaction. She said she would fill his apartment up during the two months of his absenteeism and threatened him to stop posting this message around.
Waiting nervously for his confirmation, Christina noticed his e-mail was dated 3 days before, god, what if someone else already got it, Christina called every 5 minutes. Finally she got him, she decided to give god another real try, the 2 months was still free, she would only need to pay the guy 2 months altogether in advance for him to pay the landlord, then she would happily live there with no problem.
Ya-hoo!!! Bin-go!!!
Why not talk with that little firm too, if she could convince them they wouldn’t be able to go on without her, she might get a long term working permit, who knows to be a big fish in a small pond maybe even better than a small shrimp in the big sea. So she composed her confirmation mail back with her still rather broken Dutch, would it be too much if she was gong to ask god for a language ambulance too?
“Hi, you can even write in Dutch?” a surprised voice surprised Christina, god is fair after all, there was no pure luck, very few out of thousands of students who came back school after their dinner, it was Brain; out of 6 computer rooms in the building he chose this one, the computer right next to hers.
“In broken Dutch, yes, mails from your book fans?” Christina wanted to bite her own tongue for starting it.
“Yeah, I can’t read those in Dutch, you know, maybe you should help me out sometimes,” Shinning terrible white teeth.
“Sure another time, now I have to run, I am late for dinner.” With the implication of someone was out there waiting, Christina ran off.
Back home at almost 9 pm, with loads homework left by today’s courses and those to be done for tomorrow’s, Supermarkets were long closed. Christina made herself a rather big pot of instant noodles. She was an expert in that area, everyone who ever tasted her instant noodles liked it, or said that they liked it. She made her noodles rich with all kinds of ingredients, eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers, shrimps, lavers, sausages, corianders, tinned corns and many other things, the only fear she had was that she was not sure if any combination might result in poison. She had no rights to die yet.
She didn’t talk much about food culture or Chinese kitchen with people here, everyone thought a farmer’s girl must be good at cooking and needlework, but she was so spoiled by the cheap restaurants and cheap labor there in China, literally she never cooked one meal neither knit herself one sweater ever during those 22 years. Hot pot was exceptional, it was not really cook, the sauce was bought ready; one only needed to throw vegetables or sliced meats into the boiling hot pot. That was all. The point was the sauce. Without the sauce it would be very close to the Dutch kitchen though.
Ate with the TV on, a not very fit TV from Anna’s niece, with UPC on, the rather unhealthy TV could only receive a few Dutch news channels plus BBC, black humor to someone who hated politicians as well as politics the very most.
Some gay politician got killed last month. The dull media got truly delighted and tried every means to dig out his past, his present; his non-existing futures. It didn’t even give a chance to those normal people, it showed the whole world how these poor folks behaved to the accident, how did they get shocked at the beginning, did everything they could to show their regrets for their attitudes toward him before his death to be forgiven by themselves.
Then finally get irritated at the fact they became part of those who fix this gay into a kind of historical hero or political god simply for his death. The guy would never know, would never realize it any more either that the fame he dreamed to achieve had been realized at a much bigger scale without bothering years of fighting, no alive gay politician would ever be so seriously taken by history as he had been, all thanks to the right timing of the assassinator.
Sometimes it could be fun though, those families’ affaires of the Queens family could hardly ever escape from the media either, just imagine a few centuries ago you may only laugh at those royalties after your head already fell off your neck. Why didn’t China keep the Puppet King of Qing dynasty for commercial TV show purposes? Christina credited herself one more point for the bright choice to study business in Amsterdam.
She knew if she ever told all these Kui Laos what played in her head, she’d be expelled right away, she couldn’t do that before completion of her study, and maybe she could tell the stories when she would be back in China, while those Chinese forbidden stories should be what she tells here.
Resisting the temptation from those books in her shoe- boxes under bed, she worked on her homework. Sometimes, she wondered if she would ever be a real good business person at all with the passion to get her business life up as soon as possible and done, her real dreams were opening a little library or flower shop, attending a few piano or painting courses, a dead common life that the majority of people except her own village might already long bored of, was just all what she dreamed about, yet as distant as ever.
以下，亲亲阿川的译文来啦！
2002年六月18日，星期二，Amsterda
太爽啦 （如同一个天使在舌上跳舞）
午饭铃声响起，Christina 惊醒过来，去HAS 的咖啡室吃午饭兼早饭 –两杯咖啡，以便维持清醒上完下午的课。学生们说着各式各样的语言向电梯涌去，有说有笑的，Christina 决定走楼梯。不管怎么说，不用像在Floirade 那样走动一整天，而是坐在教室里昏昏欲睡或者神游物外任凭老师在面前走来走去地滔滔不绝，算是莫大的享受。
Christina 小心翼翼地举着咖啡杯，想要避开人群回教室去。还没走到门口呢，就看见Jenny 在角落里冲她招手。Jenny 是她在Has仅有的三个中国朋友之一。有一个是学财经专业的大陆中国人，有一个是同专业的高一级的台湾人，而Jenny 是荷籍华裔香港人，也学同一专业。
Jenny 穿着简单的白色户外运动装，没化妆，样子年轻而纯真，无论如何想不到她是本地一家有名的中国餐馆的老板娘。当年Christina 过了半年才晓得Jenny 已经结婚将近10年了。
“还有课要上？” Christina 很少看见Jenny下午出现在学校。Jenny 把大部分课排在上午，留着下午好执行老板娘的义务。
“没有，不过我的停车卡还有些钟点，先来喝杯茶，然后去健身俱乐部。你找到实习的公司了吗？” Jenny 小口泯着茶，为了健康原因她从不喝咖啡。
“几个周前我发了一打儿个人简历，可是回复很少，经济不景气再加上国籍不对头，大概我最好卖面包挣钱，伪造一份实习报告得了。” 谈到实习，Christina 很沮丧。
几个星期以前她热情很高，给Amsterdam周边的好多家跨国公司发去了email,经过几轮面试，她认识到问题所在，没人愿意花费不必要的时间精力来帮一个只工作几个月的实习生取得工作许可证。
整个欧共体为了一个职位而奋斗的学生已严重超员，你又怎么能向公司证明你比全欧洲任何一个人都出色，你值得他们付出更多。许多中国学生回了中国，在父亲或者亲戚的公司里度过实习期。
“回国怎么样？你很久没回家了。”Jenny 提议。
“不到一年，不算长，尽管感觉像过了几辈子。可是不能选择回家。即使我能设法解决这边的租金，还有回那边的飞机票和大把的礼物，回来时我也会两手空空，下学期会更没着落。而且我也不想被中国公司看不起，一个被老外踢回家的傻姑娘。”Christina的笑有几分苦涩。
“你这张嘴巴呀，我就回香港做的实习，很顺利。”
“香港跟大陆不同。”
“你跟我也不同。你比我年轻得多，聪明得多。在北京或上海你会找到任何你想要的。”
Christina摇摇头，她的意思是香港的贸易环境比大陆的好，可是Jenny误解了。“你没觉出别人把你当作我的小妹妹？我的灵魂可能比你的老上10倍不止。”
“好啦，小鬼头，我该走了。等我知道经济战略全瞻的补考时间就给你打电话，谢谢你帮我过关，没有你我可能一辈子都毕不了业。”
“没问题。”Christina看着Jenny出餐厅进了电梯去健身俱乐部，又摇了摇头。Jenny 是典型的东方骨感美女，身高154，体重40公斤。没有男士能抗拒得了想保护她的冲动，这也是她去健身的原因，不是为了更健壮，而是为了更骨感。
怪不得她在香港实习期间，她的丈夫那么没有安全感，那个可怜的人，比Jenny大好多岁，又不能随时跟在她身边。可能国人很难想象的到，可是这儿的酒店老板动不动就得亲自上阵服侍客人，在“鬼佬”的地盘永远别幻想轻轻松松过日子。鬼佬是广东话，用来统称外国人，字面意思为老鬼，可能头一个乍见鬼佬非人面孔的广东人吓得不轻，遂有此称。
Jenny 对待学习相当严肃认真，她真的想毕业好拿到一纸文凭，否则她也不会一再参加那些她称之为梦魇的补考，Christina仗着两人同为东方人，以Jenny的名义去梦魇了几次，反正鬼佬们眼里的中国人长的都差不多，也分不清哪只是大象哪只是兔子。她们俩都留着中式黑长发，长着中式平面孔。
Christina不认为自己是在作弊，很多在集体作业中任嘛不做的脑残人士也一样鱼目混珠的过了关，而Jenny确实已经尽了自己的全力，她本应得到更多。
（说明，国外的学习科目要过关，考试一般只占60%，集体作业(project/case)占40%左右的）
事实上，在选择课目上，Jenny跟Christina完全相反，如果有的可选，Jenny 从来不选没有集体作业而是一考定音的课目，而Christina 从来不选有集体作业的课目。没完没了的集体会议，有一半儿的时间用在分享各自的周末节目上，实在是浪费时间啊。
没机会收email了，4点以前没有空闲的电脑，除非制造些不同寻常的噪音把别人赶走。Christina拿出上周的课堂笔记，想看看接下来的荷兰语课上到哪儿了。哦，见鬼，Christina猛地站起来，抓过书包和夹克，把塑料杯扔进垃圾桶，拼尽全力往教室跑去，她得设法完成家庭作业，在开课前的15分钟内用荷兰语写一封家信，这份作业占此课程最后成绩的15%，而她彻底把它忘了。
Christina气喘吁吁地坐在前面第二排开始写她的家庭作业，上帝作证，自从上次她的信在邮寄途中丢失她已经有年月没往家写信了，那是几年前，那时她还在中国呢。
乡下小镇里的邮递员只负责把附近几个村的所有信件都送到小学校去，然后由小孩子们接手往下送。没有别的办法，村子里的上百户人家没有门牌号，没有街名，只有一摊摊的屋子，邮递员没本事做这种邮递。她无法想象邮递员会怎么处理一封英文地址的荷兰语信件。
不过这是她胆敢忘记的家庭作业里最幸运的一次，不必额外花力气上网搜索，只要一路写些“你们过得好不好，猫猫过得好不好，猪，狗，马，鸭，鹅，小鸡和母鸡过得好不好，邻居们过得好不好”诸如此类的话，就可以写得差不多，字数也凑够了。
Helen第二个进来，她是Christina的那个台湾朋友，她们是上荷兰语课认识的。一个比Christina小一岁的女孩，已经在Amsterdam住了4年，最后3年半跟她的荷兰籍土耳其男朋友一起，她的父母不承认她的男友，他们想让她回台湾，她的父亲在中国航空公司任高层管理，她的母亲负责一家大出版社的运营。
“我还剩一句话。”不等Helen开口，Christina先声明。
“别急，你什么时候见De Hoog 先生准时出现了？”Helen 像往常一样报怨，她一屁股坐到Christina旁边的位子上，掏出粉色的Hello Kitty 铅笔包和可爱的浅蓝色Hello Kitty 笔记本，“看，我刚在一家新开张的店里买的，”她在Christina眼前晃了晃一个小巧的亮紫色Hello Kitty 钥匙环，“我还没在别的地方见过呢，好不好看？”
“你在哪儿发现的那家店？”按说Amsterdam应该没有Helen不知道的新店，她把Christina工作的时间全用来逛店购物了。
“你听没听我讲话呀，不是新发现，而是新开张，你真得去看看，靠近Leids广场，Spui街，卖的东西真好，漂亮的小小的各式Hello Kitty。”Christina简直能从Helen 眼里看到那家店。她佩服Helen对这些孩子气的东西保有的热情，还佩服她总是能完美地搭配出极合时宜的正装，迷人，精干而富有商业气息。
Christina希望自己能有一分Helen关于穿衣的品味就行，她们两个身高体重差不多，可是身穿松松垮垮的黑色牛仔和T-恤跟耀眼的Helen呆在一起，Christina觉得自己真是又粗又壮。当Helen经常性地问她棕色靴子配Terra Cotta的上衣合不合适，或是紫色手袋跟绿色衬衫搭不搭时，她不是不愤懑的，当Helen花费比自己多得多的时间购物，而自己甚至找不出面试或演讲的合适服装时，她不是不介意的。难道Helen就意识不到，其实所有的搭配在她身上都很完美？
“你给那些弃猫之家里的无家可归的真猫捐点儿钱岂不更好？”Christina很不喜欢Helen在不必要的东西上花钱如流水，可是她也清楚她们俩在这个话题上达不成共识。
“Christina，你想不想要这个？我家里还有一个闲着。”Helen甜甜地笑着，露出了雪白的牙齿。
“不想，谢谢，让我省省吧，要不我还得花时间和金钱去给你物色一个合意的礼物回赠。”
“可是你不必如此啊。”
“你也知道，我一没时间二没钱。你什么时候毕业？”Chrisina知道最好换个话题。
“八月19号，还有两个月。我打算先回家呆一两个周，然后回来准备毕业。”到目前为止，Helen从来没有在尼德兰连续呆3个月以上。只要Amsterdam-台湾之间的航班不满员，她父亲就会安排她免费搭乘飞机，而自从去年的9.11 事件以来，航班极少能满员。
“那你的论文主题已经答辩了吗？”
“上一次跟我的论文导师一起吃饭时讨论过，”Helen 开始修剪指甲，她说对了，教室里才坐了一半儿学生，嘁嘁喳喳地闲聊，授课老师踪影全无。
“跟导师吃饭？”Christina盯着Helen，不敢置信，Helen管自玩弄指甲。
“对啊，Van de Paal 夫人集我的学习导师，实习指导和论文导师于一身。这些年我们已经成朋友了。”Helen语气平平，好像她也经常跟导师一起修剪指甲似的。
“啊哈，真好。”Christina只是在面试过关那天跟自己的学习导师谈过话，实习指导是个她从没见过面的陌生人，而她相信将会有另一个陌生人来指导自己的论文。
“我跟我男朋友讨论过。我们打算去市政厅签署同居协议。”同居协议在荷兰是未婚同居的合法文件。
“你通知过你的父母了？”
“还没，我要试着在这儿找份儿工作来堵住他们的口。我肯定能在这儿自己立足，才不要听他们的旨意去别的地方呢。”Helen也有她固执的一面。
“如果你签了协议，就能拿到工作许可？”
“也不那么容易，我的男朋友得先拿到为期一年的工作合同，然后才允许我们签协议，他希望试用期结束时，也就是两个月内能拿到合同。还有成堆的文件要准备，等劳工局决议授予我工作许可证又得等上好几个月。”听起来Helen不太乐观。
“那么接下来这几个月你要干什么，我是说工作许可证下来以前？”
“想办法呆家里，否则工作没找到我就早早破产了，毕业后我可不能一直跟父母伸手要钱，尤其我还得违背他们的意愿跟他们斗。”Helen这辈子头一次听上去有点儿没把握。
“放轻松，没有工作许可你照样能找到你喜欢的工作，你可以告诉公司你过几个月给他们看工作许可证，在此之前先干着。”Christina安慰她，这女孩还从来没为了生活操心过呢。
“你觉得能行？”Helen 没一点儿把握。不过最不济半年内她也该能工作了。六个月，死不了人的，朋友们那儿她也总能接到些钱。
“你准备怎么做实习？”Helen始终没弄明白，这个大陆女孩儿既没有甜心爹地，也没有爱心妈咪，她到底怎么设法呆下去的，同一座城市，同一所学校，她的爹地可是动用了半数以上的生意关系才把她安置好。她知道Christina牛马一样地打工，怪不得这姑娘来这儿快一年了还没个男朋友。“Christina，你想不想跟几个荷兰男士生一起吃个饭？”
“不想，谢谢。作为单身女士我目前还很快乐，光洗自己的臭袜子就行了，省省你的那些男性朋友们吧。”Christina 从来没有看不起为了居留权或工作许可而走捷径的女孩儿，她明白自己的生存状况跟地狱有得一拼，可是她不打算让步，不对任何鬼佬让步。Christina 知道她也可能推开了某些真情，可是谁会在意呢，她没时间应付这些事儿，管它真的还是假的，在她从债务里脱身以前，把她的一家从农村接出来以前，她没有时间顾及任何其它的事情。
“下午好，亲爱的同学们，” De Hoog 先生满脸大汗地进来了，“很抱歉我迟到了，今天我妻子借我的车用，我不得不乘坐公共交通工具，我从来不知道情况这么糟糕。” Tina 忍不住笑了，这分的可真清楚啊，我的妻子“借了”我的车。
“下次如果我们迟到了，拜托不要再扣我们的学分，我们每天都乘公车来。”有几个颇得他欢心的德国女孩儿用德国腔的荷兰语嗲声嗲气地说。
“我们这节课就从讨论自己国家的公交状况开始吧。10分钟准备，然后每个人上讲台做1分钟演讲，” 他很高兴那些德国女孩儿提供了灵感，“趁这时间我去拿杯咖啡。”De Hoog 先生说完这话就扔下等了半天的全班人出了教室，露面时间前后没超过2分钟。
“我也想要来杯咖啡，”坐在Christina另一边的法国女孩儿用法国腔英语逐字嘟哝着，特意把每个单词的第一个音节加重了读音。
整个教室沸腾了，不同国籍的人各自为政，没有一个讲荷兰语的。
Helen继续修剪指甲，Christina则希望自己没喝那两杯保持清醒的咖啡。
五点过十分，Christina结束了当天的最后一节课走出教室。一天坐8个小时好像也不那么舒服。可是她别无选择，3个在校日排得满当当才能确保两个休息日。现在电脑室几乎空无一人，大部分学生已经回家吃晚饭了。Christina首先登陆Hotmail检查邮件，删除了成打的垃圾邮件，留下五封，其中三封要回信。
第一封是Anna的，她提议如果Christina愿意，她可以帮忙把履历递给某些慈善俱乐部的成员。Christina谢过她，把她的提议先搁到一边，她认为自己该继续尝试。（不至于要被慈善组织来救赎吧）
第二封来自被她邮件轰炸过的荷兰公司，提供了一次面试机会。Christina没有印象这家公司做什么的，用他们留的网址上网查了一下。对了，是家小小的Disney儿童用品代理公司，也许他们需要找个中国人去找个最便宜的生产场地？Christina没有立刻回信，而是继续看下一封信。
下一封是Wilma的，她租住的阁楼的女房东。上下楼而已，她们却要靠Mail来联系。互联网缩短了世界的距离，哈哈。什么？Wilma说她被医院确诊为肝癌，三周内要动手术，到时她的女儿和儿子还有女婿儿媳都要来看她，也就是说客人们要住在阁楼里。可怜的Wilma，老太太刚结束同她前夫打官司争房子，现在又。。。Christina马上回复说自己任何时候都可以搬出去，去她的中国朋友家即可，如果帮得上忙，她很乐意效劳，比如说，必要时跑跑腿。
回完信后Christina开始后怕，她根本没人可投靠。Jenny跟丈夫和婆婆住在一起，Helen跟荷兰籍土耳其人一起，Lisa，来自中国南方的大陆女孩儿，跟她的前同事分享她在Has的公寓，她同事扎根在瑞典现在在荷兰诺基亚分部工作。没有地方给Christina。哪儿也没有。
除非去住火车站，两三周内想在Amsterdam找到房子如同开玩笑。Christina甚至不确定火车站是不是24小时营业。新学期开始前没有闲置的学校公寓，即使有，也只提供给留学生和一年级国际生。实际上，Christina两者都符合，一位学习留学生课程的Has新生，可是技术上来讲，她两者都不是，她是作为Has普通三年级生注册的。
Christina 忘了要回复有关面试的E-mail,转头开始逛网上的所有租房网站，确实有房子在出租，可是没有一所她能租得起。至少以靠她帮人做面包以填饱他人肚子的几毛大钱是不够的，她自己大概很快就没面包吃了。
别担心，还有两周呢，什么事儿都可能发生，她安慰自己。现在照常做事吧，中文邮箱也得查查，垃圾更多。也只留下3封要回复，第一封来自大学同班最骄傲的男生，通知她两个月内他要来Leiden大学学习，让她去Schipol飞机场接机，她回复说没问题，只要她还能活到那个时候。她知道他会把她的真话当笑话听。
第二封来自玲，她怀疑Christina还活着呢吗？出自真心的关心，Christina对这封邮件的态度与上一封截然相反，“我过得挺好的。”下意识地撒了谎。
第三封来自一位中国男同胞，Christina 在Floriade 公园遇到过他，他要回国度假，请她帮忙问问周围有没有人想到他的公寓住两个月，住到九月份。Christina 不敢相信自己的眼睛，又从头读了一遍，然后打印出来，又在纸面上读了第三遍，忍不住咧开嘴笑得嘴角都快到耳朵了。这不是真的，这种事儿不可能在真实生活中发生，只有在书本里或者电影里，如果你这一分钟撞了车，马上就会有一辆救护车在下一分钟赶到，真实生活中不存在纯粹的幸运，或许这次存在了？
总共3个月时间，如果现在就去登记排号，她也许可以等到Has公寓空出来。生活本身就是一个大大的奇迹。
她跑到8楼的后勤部办公室，已经关门了。上帝，她还没给那个中国男孩人回信好留住那公寓，不行，邮件可能太慢，她拨电话过去，铃铃铃。。。那边没人接，拜托，接电话，铃铃铃。。。好吧，写邮件总比没反应强。她马上发邮件过去说，他不在的两个月期间她愿意去住他的公寓，还威胁他别再四处宣扬租房信息。
Christina 紧张地等着他的回信，同时注意到他的E-mail是三天前发的，上帝，如果别人早回信了怎么办， Christina 每五分钟就给他打个电话。终于，他接了，上帝也许真是存在的！那两个月还在，她只需要一次性付给那人两个月房租好让他付给房东就好了，然后她就可以毫无顾虑住在那儿。
哇哈 ！！！ 宾果 ！！！
为什么不跟那家小公司也谈谈呢，假如她能说服他们如果没有她，他们无以为继，她也许能得到长期劳动许可，谁知道呢，作小池子里的大鱼可能比作大海里的小虾米还好呢。于是她用自己还很烂的荷兰语编了一封确认信回复过去，再向上帝乞求一部语言急救车会不会太过份了？
“Hi,你还能写荷兰语？”一道惊奇的声音惊倒了Christina , 上帝毕竟是公平的，没有纯粹的好运，几千个学生里几乎没有几个会在晚饭后再回学校来，可是Brain 会；楼里有六个电脑室他偏偏选了这个，偏偏选了她旁边的电脑。
“能，不成句的那种。来收你的书迷们的邮件？“Christina 想咬下自己的舌头，怎么跟他聊开了。
“是啊。你知道，我看不懂用荷兰语写的那些信，也许抽个时间你可以帮帮我，”闪亮的可怕的雪白的牙齿。
“找个时间，当然可以，现在我得走了，我还没吃晚饭。”Christina 故意说的象有人在等她似的，抓紧跑人。
晚上大约9点，Christina 到了家，带回了一堆今天课上留的家庭作业，另外还有明天上课要交的作业。超市早关门了，她给自己煮了一大锅方便面，这方面她可是专家，每个人都喜欢吃她煮的面，或者嘴上说喜欢。她煮的面内容丰富，富含各种食材，鸡蛋，西红柿，黄瓜，虾，紫菜，香肠，香菜，罐装玉米还有很多其他的东西，她唯一担心的就是不太确定这些搭配会不会有毒。她现在还没权力死呢。
她不太跟这儿的人谈论饮食文化或者中国烹饪，人人都认定作为农村女孩子她肯定善长做饭和针线。可是她被中国那些便宜饭馆和廉价劳力给惯坏了，严格来讲，过去22年里她从没动手做过一顿饭，也没给自己织过一件衣。火锅不算，那不算真正做饭，酱汁儿买现成的，只要把蔬菜和切好的肉扔到煮开的锅里，就完成了。没有技巧。重点在酱汁儿。如果没有酱汁儿，火锅跟荷兰烹饪简直形同一家。
边看电视边吃饭，电视从Anna 的侄女那儿搬来的，不太好用，是UPC有线电视。这个不太灵巧的老电视勉强收的到几个荷兰新闻频道外加BBC，偏偏某人十分痛恨政客和政治，黑色幽默啊。
上个月有个同性恋政客被害。无聊的媒体真是热血沸腾，想尽一切手段狠挖此人的过去，现在，以及不存在的未来。连那些正常人也没机会避开风头，媒体向全世界展示了这些可怜的人们如何对待此次事故，刚开始他们是多么震惊，然后懊悔从前对待那个政客的态度，接下来努力挽救，尽力表达他们的忏悔之情以换得一己心安。
最后又禁不住懊恼，他们也成了那些把这个同性恋定位为历史英雄或者政界之神中的一员，原因只不过在于死者伟大。这个政客永远不可能得知，也永远不可能意识到，他梦想得到的名声已经得到了，而且范围更广，不用去奋斗多年。现存的同性恋政客们再没人能像他这样被历史谨记，这一切都得感谢那个刺客，刺杀的时间恰到好处。
不过，也有好玩的东西，比如女王一家人的花边新闻同样逃不开媒体的跟踪。想想看吧，几个世纪以前，只有当你人头落地时你才有权嘲笑那些皇室的。其实中国怎么不留下清朝的傀儡政权以供商业电台来做秀呢？看来在Amsterdam学习商业就对了， Christina 为自己的选择再加一分。
她知道如果她胆敢把自己脑袋里想的告诉这些鬼佬，她立马会被驱逐出境，所以完成学业前她不能这么做，也许回到中国她可以讲讲这些故事，而那些在中国被禁的故事可以在这儿讲讲。
Christina 坚持住不受床底下鞋盒子里的那些书的诱惑，埋头开始写家庭作业。有时候她很怀疑自己能不能成为一个真正的好生意人，她不过是急切的想把生意迅速的搞起来然后迅速的隐退。因为她真正的梦想是开家小小的书屋或花店，参加几个钢琴或绘画课，这种除了她自己村里的人以外大部分人早就生来可以享有的普通的不能在普通的生活，就是她所梦想的生活，可是到现在仍然那么遥不可及。
作者有话说
第4章 18th June Tuesday 2002 Amsterdam
，还差 