《On The Same Days》橄榄树

11、2nd August Friday 2002 Shenyang

　　Tussen beker en lippen is nog plaats voor een ongeluk
　　(There is still room for an accident between lips and the cup)

　　There would be no wedding. One shock after another, Ling couldn’t concentrate. She set the tape record “American Album” on for the children, sat herself in a corner of the classroom.
　　* * *
　　Two weeks ago, her sky had been still blue, now she had no clue if the sky would just crash down at the next moment. So many things happened, it was all very busy. She couldn’t even spare any time for flying kites with Fan and Jane.

　　At school, she helped May through the whole show of □□’s anniversary. It was a big success as she expected, many parents came to register for their children after the show proved the best. Leaders of □□ from Taiwan attended also. Ling’s children did ring the Jingle bells loud and beautiful, danced very well also to their parents’ great satisfaction.

　　At home together with Tiffany, they have already decorated the new apartment of Bamboo and Deng. They arranged the music, the cars, the cameras, kilos of fireworks, sent hundreds of invitations

　　Then the health check results of Bamboo and Deng came from the hospital, the pair was so busy that they didn’t even open it till the next day. Deng was required to do another check, probably something with his flu they thought. He was having a fever during the first check. So he went again for another check, and he was kept there by the hospital. They called his parents, recommended no wedding desirable at the stage. It is not completely sure yet, he still has to be checked one more time. Both families are now waiting with full anxiety.

　　Bamboo wouldn’t stop the wedding, but the parents of Bamboo wouldn’t allow their daughter marry with anyone who might have cancer, though they felt terribly sorry. Somehow Deng realized his situation, became extremely sensitive, not even allowing them to visit him. No one, on any one could easily handle such a crash, one moment a ready groom, next moment a patient, with an unknown, or even worse, no future.

　　Bamboo lost all her colors. Ling never saw her pretty sister pale like a sheet. The first thing Bamboo started to do, was to blame herself in tears that she didn’t treat Deng well, she was all the time ashamed of his dumb and slow, she never really appreciated all the time that Deng spent on her. He never blamed her for her bad temper or instability, never even had any other girlfriend except Bamboo. By now she realized how much she actually had and she couldn’t bring herself to think about any what ifs.
　　* * *

　　Ling didn’t notice the tape has stopped, her eyes were looking into the distance, she saw the face of this tiny girl Jane, who was nothing more than a crime of one of those old evil officials who never even knew her very existence…Jane’s face was staring her back, with question marked eyes, Ling fell back into reality, the tape had stopped and all the children were curiously staring at her.

　　“Ok, who can rephrase in her own words what did he or she just hear?” Ling jumped in front of the group trying to compose herself again, “Ben?”
　　“It was a joke.” Very adultery tone,
　　“Yes?” Ling hopes he is not joking.
　　“It was a family dinner, the father had to borrow money from the grandfather, the son was told to eat up his plates.” Ben exclaimed.
　　“Oh, uh, why was it a joke then?” Ling was puzzled.
　　“Miss, my grandpa gave everything to my father, my father will give everything to me, I am never allowed to eat up any dish, I’d explode, says mom.” Ben frowned at Ling impatiently as if she was the little child he had to teach.
　　“Yes, yes, right. It is cultural difference. American fathers don’t give their children free things after the children aged 18 and moved out, and it is polite to eat their plates up as their table manner happens to require.” Ling tried to be clear.
　　“Are American fathers very poor?” one of the child asked hesitantly.
　　“Maybe one or two black fathers, but most of them are much richer than Chinese fathers.” Ling wished immediately that she hadn’t said that.
　　“Why black fathers are poorer?” a puzzled boy.
　　“Don’t those rich fathers love their children?” a confused girl.

　　Never before had Ling felt talking to these children could be so hard and misleading, decided not to go further into a discrimination topic, Ling addresses the confused girl, “I am sure they do, as much as your fathers do.”
　　“Why do they throw their children out when they are 18 then?” the girl wasn’t convinced.
　　“Not throw out; when children turn 18, they want to move out to have their own freedom.”
　　“Does freedom mean I can buy all the car models I want? I’d like to move out too.” Ben again,
　　“You are far too young; besides, freedom also means you have to make your own money.”
　　“But I make a lot of money every birthday and spring festival.”
　　“You didn’t make it, other people gave it to you; it is different.”
　　“But…”
　　“No buts, just don’t ever ask your parents about it!” Ling raised her voice, then noticed the curiosity from all the eyes again, she never shouted at anyone in her class.

　　“uh, sorry, why not let me tell you all a real joke?” what joke did she know? Quick, quick, “uh, once there was an American, he came to eat in the restaurant across the street; he couldn’t speak Chinese; no one in the restaurant spoke English. He wanted some boiled eggs, so he drew two ovals on the napkin, the waitress brought him two steamed bread, he explained further by drawing a hen beside the eggs, the waitress brought him a quail barbecue, he gave up on eggs, instead drew a mushroom, this time the waitress ran outside the door to the shopping mall and came back with a big umbrella. Hahaha.” Ling’s laugh died down as nobody else was laughing, what’s wrong with these kids today?

　　“Why didn’t he go into the kitchen himself and point out what he wanted?” Jane asked.
　　“While, I guess, the kitchen must be somewhere underground that he couldn’t find it.” Ling leaned another lesion from the kids.
　　“Does he have to pay for the quail and umbrella? If not, I will go to that restaurant to draw a dog and a car.” Ben.
　　Then the lunch bell rang, never before, it had been so welcomed by Ling.
　　“Homework, everyone has to tell a joke in next lesion, now you are dismissed.”

　　After a lot of noises and pushing around, the kids found their way out. Ling collected her things automatically with no feeling for lunch, “Miss?” Jane stood on the doorway, “When are we going to the Zoo? You promised.”
　　“When you promise your babysitter won’t loss her sock or shoe again.” Without thinking, Ling gave out.
　　Jane’s cheek suddenly turned red, “she called me ‘little motherless’ on the first day!” her voice near break.
　　“Sorry, Jane, I am sorry, I have my own troubles these days, but I promise we will go to the zoo very soon, we may even go to cultural square to fly kites.” Ling wanted to make up.
　　“Fly kites?” the dreamy smile back on Jane’s face again.
　　“Yes, we will. Maybe you can ask your babysitter to join us too, but promise she will wear the same color shoes and socks.”
　　“Deal,” They crossed each other their little fingers, Jane ran.

　　“So you’re really practicing a mother now!” May came in, to call her friend for lunch. Ling hadn’t show up for lunch yesterday, which was unusual.
　　“A very bad one, I hadn’t brought her to the zoo as promised.”
　　“I wouldn’t promise at all. Would you mind to tell me what other stresses have you achieved this week if it wasn’t that step-daughter?”
　　“Just family matters, Bamboo and Deng cancelled their wedding.”
　　“What? Why?” May have bought Bamboo real silk pillow covers as wedding gifts already.
　　“Deng is kept in the hospital now, he may have cancer.” Ling tried to control her voice.
　　“NO, I am sorry.” May couldn’t believe it, that real gentle man who might well be the last dinosaur in this world shouldn’t deserve cancer,
　　“Me too,”
　　“How is Bamboo?”
　　“Very bad,”
　　“But it is not sure yet.” May always tried to be positive.
　　“It will be next week.”
　　“Then stop behaving like you know the result already till next week, let’s go for lunch.”
　　“I really don’t feel like eating.”
　　“Another patient won’t save your family. I have some □□ rumors to tell, come on.” May picked up Ling’s bag and dragged her out to the restaurant.
　　“Spit it out.” Ling ate her noodles, she wasn’t aware that she was actually quite hungry.
　　“The noodles?”
　　“The rumors,”
　　“I heard □□ is going to expand to Inner Mongolia next year.” May was enthusiastic.
　　“Do sheep and goats also climb English Ladders?”
　　“Apparently they do if they want to exchange with those from Holland or wherever.”
　　“It is more Christina’s business than ours then.”
　　“Haven’t you ever dreamed to ride horses in the grasslands, or a desert, live under a yurt with open fire, strong liquor, stinking cheese, it is my dream!” May’s small eyes twinkling with fantasy,
　　“My dear, wake up, □□ is not going to set up a yurt in the middle of a desert or prairie to teach real animals, I had always expected your dream lies somewhere in Korea.”
　　“Korea is always there.”
　　“Inner Mongolia won’t evaporate either.”
　　“If we go, we will be founders, we will be the area managers, we will brainwash the whole area with our English.” May convinced herself.
　　“Through Mongolian or Chinese? You’d better come to the hospital with me later on for a brain clean.” Ling concluded the topic and they both started their mobile conversations of the day.

　　Fan said Ling didn’t need to excuse herself for not able to meet, he had been tied up in their project too; things weren’t too good there in Sunshine Construction these days he said.

　　The match -making aunt called, checking the following up of the set up, and then naturally changed to another topic, “It is up to you two if you may reach somewhere, but I gave my help. By the way your cousin will get a promotion soon.”
　　“Congratulations.” Ling couldn’t really spell out the cousin’s face, might have seen her once on Tiffany’s wedding, some taxation officer. They had never been close anyway except at those big family events.
　　“But she has to get her Bachelor degree first from her evening program, one test will be in English, you know your cousin is very good at history, politics and laws, but English isn’t really her thing, she has to pass the test and get the degree to beat the other candidates.”
　　“Do you mean I should help her with her English?” Ling knew the aunt never made free calls.
　　“I knew you are a nice child, I knew you’d be grateful for my help.”
　　“Honestly I am really busy these days, but ask my cousin to call me; we may make appointments according to our schedule.” Ling wanted to end the conversation badly.
　　“No, we knew you are busy, so it will only cost you two hours, the test is next Saturday 9 pm in Shenyang University.”
　　“But the invigilators, I mean, if we were caught…”
　　“No problem, we will make a temporary identity card with your picture under her name, besides, we already invited the invigilators at Royal Sea Food, on one will give you any trouble, just don’t be interrupted by other candidates if they want to copy your answers.”
　　“But I have to teach on Saturday morning,”

　　“Aha, you wouldn’t even spend two hours for the future of your cousin? I had always treated you like a daughter! How did you father…” The aunt screamed at the other end.
　　“Easy, aunt,” Ling cut in; she knew she wouldn’t be able to reject this kind of family task, her father would say yes anyway, “I will do the test, but ask my cousin to give me a call, I need to have some idea about the test. Bye.” gave the aunt no more time to answer. Ling hung up the phone.

　　“Family matter again?” May looked at Ling sympathetically,
　　“You know what? I think Inner Mongolia might be a good change. But you have to keep me alive till next year in the first place for me to join you.”
　　“How much will your ancient aunt pay you for the big cheat?”
　　“Praises like I still have a heart, or even match making me a few set ups to save me out of the dreadful single status,”
　　“And what are you going to pay me for the hours’ torture by your step-daughters and sons?” May realized how lucky it is that her families are far away, she often had to stand in for Ling’s class whenever Ling has to be on some sort of family duty.
　　“You do have a heart too! You are free to take over all my set ups.”
　　“Save them all to yourself, I suddenly remember I owed this to you.” May never understood why it was so hard for the poor girl to manage a no.

　　The afternoon wasn’t any easier, but no matter how long the day seemed to be, the bell rang at 5pm, the school day ended after all.

　　Ling had no idea what fruits were Deng’s favorites. It seemed he never said no to anything, indeed a person with a heart, a very soft and kind one. She chose some grapes, pineapples and bananas. She hadn’t seen him yet since he went there for the second check.

　　The evening hospital was as crowded as ever, except fewer windows were open, less faces presented behind the windows, which made the flock out of each window even bigger and tighter.
　　Ling pushed her way up to the second floor where sickrooms were located, seeing Deng’s parents went down stairs from the other side of the hallway, she didn’t call; she wouldn’t know what to say.

　　It is a two person’s sickroom, but the other bed was still free, more or less, except bags and bags of fruits. Bamboo sat on a white plastic chair with her face paler than the seat. No table in the room, no TV, nothing. But it seemed Deng’s face had been totally weather- beaten in these few days, dark, unshaved, looked fidgety.
　　“Deng, I am sorry.” Ling couldn’t come up with anything else to say.
　　“Why would you?” Deng sounded sarcasm, like a totally different person.
　　“Please, Deng, Ling just come to see if you are fine, would you stop beating the bushes around if the real target is just me myself?” Bamboo took the fruit from Ling, dropped it on the other bed and pulled Ling another chair.
　　“Aha, discovery of the century, whichever of your sisters including yourself ever noticed me before? No mention to care if I am fine.”
　　Ling felt really a bit scared. This wasn’t the Deng she knew. He never said anything so scornful; he never said anything memorable at all.
　　“I thought you would be glad that we now have some quiet time here together,” Bamboo tried to calm him down.
　　“Of course I am, to see which part of my lever is black.”
　　“It is not definite yet, we must keep hoping…”Ling tried to act positive as May did.
　　“Shut that psychological tone up, I have got more than enough from that honorable doctor pair of yours.”
　　Ling flushed badly, she had never even used shut up in her lesson, “maybe I shouldn’t bother you two for long; I will come over soon.”
　　“Why are you so afraid? Cancer is not contagious.” Deng remain sarcastic.
　　“Cancer isn’t, but bad temper might be. I know you are not meant to say what you are saying, and I know I’d be far worse than you are if I stood in your shoe.” Ling took great patience as if talking to those children who were punished with their mistakes except that Deng hadn’t made any. But it worked, Deng softened a bit, at least, Ling hadn’t kept saying like all the other visitors that everything was going to be fine, it must be just a false alarm, hell knew hospitals wouldn’t give an false alarms to wretch their own reputations.
　　“Just take your sister away as you go.”
　　Bamboo got even paler, dangerously holding back her tears, “I genuinely wish we could swap, I’d feel much better off to lay there in bed to see how sorry you would be.”
　　“I wish I am the one who is standing there and making the empty remarks,” Bamboo’s tears fell down at those words, “the wedding has been cancelled; you have no responsibility to play a widow here.”

　　Ling knew no good would come out of this, she excused from Deng no matter if he cared and dragged Bamboo out of the sickroom, down to the hall “Let’s go home for some tea and some food, you won’t save anything by being demented, you knew he is not himself right now.”
　　“What if he will never be?” Bamboo looked at those wounded patients sitting and walking around in the hall, pain in her eyes.
　　“Yes, he will.” A firm male voice answered, Deng’s parents were back with snacks, “he has been waiting for your big day for a few years already, he wouldn’t give up.” the father continued, reassured Bamboo with a slight pat on her shoulder, though in his fifties, Mr. Zhao must be quite a handsome man in Deng’s age, even under such stress, he was still in his style and tastes. In comparison the mother looked old and weary, with a pair of red eyes, couldn’t speak anything.

　　“Tomorrow I will invite a few cancer specialists from the hospital to Shangri-La, come over around 6pm, I will introduce you some friends.”
　　Bamboo nodded obediently, she wished she could just say no. She had attended three similar dinners already, the head of the hospital or some governmental officials, it was much worse and more difficult than to stay with Deng, now she knew why Deng had been such a silent person, you wouldn’t dare risk saying anything to one of those heads, no offense, no compliments, no nice weather kind of stupid talking, nothing more than pulling a constant smile and drink whatever kind of alcohol by liters. As if the more they all drank, the deeper the friendship would become, the deeper the friendship one had with doctors, the less possible one might be sentenced as a cancer patient.

　　“She will see you tomorrow than, bye uncle and aunt.” Ling held demented Bamboo with her arm to the street, called a taxi home. No one said anything.