《On The Same Days》橄榄树

40、25th Tuesday March 2003 Shenyang25th Tuesday March 2003 Shenyang

　　Het tijdelijke met het eeuwige verwisselen
　　(Exchange temporary with permnant)

　　It was Jane’s birthday, but there would be no party, but a funeral.
　　No, Jane was fine, that Jessica never appeared in the last two weeks, Jane hadn’t been left alone either, the babysitter was with her at home most of the time. The lessons in □□ had to stop for nobody’s knows how long due to the incurable killing flue-SARS.

　　Last week there had been some news on the tabloid over people dieing out of some unknown disease in south China, but nobody cared, people dying out of many kinds of diseases everyday anyway. But this week the national news started the warning broadcast, that people should stay home more and try not to go to restaurants or other public areas, if they had to then better wear masks and gloves in public, wash hands as often as possible. Many internet cafés and snack bars were all closed down, there weren’t customers anyway. The computer course Ling just followed one week also declared termination without refunds.

　　The whole country ran into panic. WHO even banned many parts of China from for traveling. A Taiwanese engineer who planned to come over for a visit canceled his trip, saying there in Taiwan it was in better condition, near SARS free. Everybody was constantly on the phone with everybody else who lived somewhere else, telling the other one to take care as if the other end of the line was closer to the smile of death. May said in Shanghai the situation was much better than in Guangzhou, Joanna said in Beijing the situation was much better than Shanghai. But the number of SARS patients dying was increasing everyday on the tabloid despite the CCTV news kept the numbers unchanged. Nobody cared about the war in the Middle East. Nobody understood why people bother to use those complicated heavy weapons to kill each other at all, maybe SARS was the punishment from the nature, since human didn’t even know how to appreciate their lives anyway.

　　But no matter how scary it all sounded to be, life had to go on, and as long as life went on, one tended to believe the horror movie only played in the cinema, if you closed you own door, then it would just stay outside. People even started to joke at each other if someone coughs, “Hi, you aren’t chasing the popular flu?”

　　Till the day Deng had been to the hospital for another time of radio therapy, he had been kept there once again. No visits allowed. No one had seen him after that, because 3 days later, his death announcement came from the hospital, he got SARS. It was also partly the Cancer; the doctor told Mr. Zhao who fainted at the news after 3 days sleepless waiting. Deng’s mother cried into a shaking leave. The only one reacted extremely abnormal was Bamboo, she hadn’t cry, hadn’t talked to anyone, hadn’t went to the hospital, mightn’t go to the funeral either, she had burned all their correspondents, photos and all the gifts from Deng with a solemn face.

　　The funeral took more than 3 hours. Deng’s families, Ling’s families, many other colleagues of Mr. Zhau were there. With masks and gloves, Deng’s cinerary casket was transferred from the hospital to the South lake graveyard by dozens of black cars running in a line. The street was quiet. Never had the city been so quiet for years. Those clouds of people normally flocked at every corner were all just gone. The sun was shinning through the chilly wind; no one noticed that it was already spring.

　　Lily was there without Dawn, with a quite obvious belly under her coat. Couldn’t find Bamboo, she pulled Ling to a corner, “You must talk to her, once she cried, it would be all over; the stupid girl is silently killing herself.”
　　“But how are you? How is it with Dawn?” Ling hadn’t seen Lily for quite some days; she held Lily’s bony hands wondering if the baby could get enough nutrition from such a skinny body at all.
　　Lily frowned with a sizzle of pain, and trek her hands back. Ling noticed the blue wound on Lily’s wrist,
　　“What is it?” Ling frowned too, felt the gaze from Mr. Zhao a few steps away.
　　“Just burned by the oven; tell Bamboo sometimes an end is better than endless suffering, Deng is not at rest; she should just let it go.”
　　“Sure I will.” Ling promised Lily, digesting her aunt’s wise words seeing her walking alone to the gate of the graveyard, felt even chillier under the spring sun. Turned back to Mr. Zhao, his painful gaze was on Lily’s back too.

　　* * *

　　It was already late afternoon when Ling got back to Lee’s house to pick up Jane, Lee had to go back to the office. They promised Jane weeks ago to bring her to the Disney land on her birthday. Jane jumped at the sight of Ling and complained her hair all turned gray by waiting. The tiny girl was imprisoned indoor with the babysitter for weeks. After a few rounds of negotiation, finally Jane unwillingly put on the mask and gloves as Ling and the babysitter did.

　　Disney land wasn’t as empty as other public areas in the city; obviously children were getting crazy being locked up that they had to come out for a breath every now and then. Besides, Disney land was giving 50 percent discount on the entrance tickets to survive from the bad time.

　　The babysitter was as excited as Jane was; the poor girl had never been into Disney land before in her whole life. Ling also felt a bit relieved from the whole sick and death world outside. They watched the 3 dimension movie, ridded those electrical metal donkeys and horses, traveled in the air trolley from one side of a canal to the other side. They laughed a lot. A few times a clown dressed as Winnie de Pooh offered Jane free drinks and ice creams, Ling thanked him but insisted Jane not to take them, she brought mineral water with her, who knew those free things might be overall polluted with viruses.

　　Stepped out from the air trolley, there was the Winnie de Pooh again holding some fancy balloons this time, he offered a pink Piglet and a Penguin to Jane, Jane took it over before Ling could say no. Ling felt a bit weird; it seemed the clown was overall the place with them the whole time. She tried to look into the clown’s eyes, but it wasn’t easy as the eyes were far behind the hairy masks.
　　“Say thanks, Jane.” Ling took Jane’s hand, decided to go back.
　　“Thank you very much!” Jane beamed to the clown.
　　“You are welcome, dear.” A sweet female voice answered.

　　Till they almost reached the exit, Jane suddenly shouted, “Jessica, it was Jessica!”
　　“What?!” Ling almost jumped. The babysitter looked back to locate the clown. Some 100 meters away the clown was still standing there watching them.

　　Ling took the balloons over from Jane and told the babysitter and Jane not to move, walked quickly back to the clown. She had to know who she was, and what was she after Jane for. The clown turned abruptly back and walked to the other side quickly seeing Ling’s coming. Ling started to run. Some other children and parents under masks watched the chasing rather amused, thought it might be a two balloon man’s show.
　　A few steps away from the air trolley canal, Ling shouted, “Jessica, stop, you can’t jump in the canal!”
　　Jessica stopped, slowly turned back to Ling, “Didn’t Jane like the balloons?”

　　“Not balloons full of lies. Who are you? What do you want from us?” Ling wondered how could she take the cover off the clown and see her real face.

　　“Thank you, Ling. For being so protective to Jane, I didn’t mean to make you worry, I’d never hurt her.” Jessica looked to where Jane and her babysitter stood. Ling could hear the affection from her voice, but very shocked that the woman knew her name.

　　“I don’t think I know you. Lee never had a secretary called Jessica.” Ling wouldn’t give up.
　　“No, I am sweating like hell in the fur, shall we meet somewhere else for a talk?” Jessica went over to a tree and tried to tie the bunch of balloons on it.
　　“Do I look that stupid? Stop trying to get away from me.” Ling followed Jessica to the tree and watched her busy with the balloons, she handed the piglet and penguin to Jessica. Jessica didn’t take them, “Please keep it for Jane.”

　　Had the balloons tied, Jessica managed herself out from the Winnie de Pooh fur, with no masks and gloves on; Jessica offered her hand to Ling with a smile, “Nice to know you, Ling.”

　　Staring at the pretty woman aged around 30 with long straight hair, a pair of big dark eyes, with a shy smile, Ling was stunned for a moment, Jessica looked familiar, shook her hand without greeting back, Ling knew what it was, that was Jane’s eyes and smile, the woman, looked like Jane through magnifying glass.
　　“Jones?” Ling suggested, she had never seen any photos in Lee’s house, she wasn’t sure.
　　“Jones died 4 years ago already. My name is Jessica,” Jessica sighed, then continued, “Please don’t tell Lee about me yet, I don’t know what am I doing here, I just had to see Jane, you know, I am sorry.” Jessica tried to hold back her tears, “Maybe I should go back in the fur.”
　　Ling found some tissues from her hand bag, had a look at Jane and the babysitter near the exit, “Ok, tell me how I can find you, I should send them home now.”
　　“I live in the Friendship Hotel, room 219, please don’t tell Lee yet.” Jones asked another time.
　　“Ok, I will see you tomorrow.” Ling ran back to the two children with the piglet and penguin balloons.

　　“Did father send her for my birthday?” Jane took the balloons, didn’t understand why Ling hadn’t allowed her to go and talk to Jessica. The babysitter opened her mouth then closed at Jane’s question, just anxiously eyeing Ling.
　　“No, Jessica stopped working for your father but here instead, your father was very angry actually, so we’d better not mention that we have met her again, agreed?” Ling took Jane in her arms, gave the babysitter a reassured eye and walked out the exit.

　　* * *
　　It was rather late after the cake dinner, Jane insisted to stay up two hours later than normal on her birthday. Almost mid night after sending Jane to bed and cleaned up with the babysitter, Ling told the babysitter not to worry then went to the living room. Lee was watching the Middle East nightmare on TV.
　　Made some tea, Ling sat next to Lee.
　　“I know you may think I am stupid and crazy, but I’d like to ask,” Ling started,
　　“Ask it then, I don’t believe you can manage anything more stupid and crazy than what I am watching now.” Lee turned the volume down, eyes still on TV.
　　“Was you deep in love with Jones?”
　　Lee frowned at the name, clouded his face, “Didn’t you get the story from Lily?”
　　“Yes, but…”
　　“Then you should know there wasn’t love, but only deceit.” Lee’s voice trembled, he had never talked about Jones since the day she disappeared without a single trace, broke his whole world into pieces, if he hadn’t his job, he must have died long ago, he had even thought about to send Jane to an orphanage, but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t do it, but every time he looked into Jane’s eyes, he felt pain again, he could never understand why, why that tiny lovely little Jones could cheated on him and left him behind

　　“She had been a victim too. You really loved her therefore you couldn’t forgive, do you?” Ling’s voice started to shake as well.
　　“Ling, it was all history, it was all finished, it hadn’t been easy, she almost destroyed me, but I survived, and I have you now, I believe in you, you are so real, you won’t cheat on me. Just forget about her.” Lee kissed Ling’s hand.
　　“Ok, the last question, what would you do if she comes back to you now and still loves you?” Ling felt her own heart beating extra fast,

　　“Do I look that stupid? I’d never believe her lies anymore, and she will never dare to come back,” Lee squeezed Ling’s hand, “What’s up? Why suddenly all these questions”
　　Ling pulled her arms around Lee’s neck, tightly clenched to him, “Nothing, just wanted to know where I am.”
　　“In my present, my stupid little sister,” Lee kissed on Ling’s hair.
　　Ling tried not to drop her tears on his neck, yes, she was just a present tense, never his past, mightn’t be his future either.