《On The Same Days》橄榄树

37、14th March Friday 2003 Breukelen

　　Stepped out of the streekbus in front of Nyenrode, Tina felt like walking in the clouds. She felt her legs all turn crispy. Not that the old castle looked too stunning, it was rebuilt not too long ago; not that the green campus looked poetic, her village up north China wasn’t any worse. But it was Nyenrode, the only private business school in Holland, some kind of a Harvard where the former Prime Minister Wim Kok was graduated from, although his resignation wasn’t too bright a finishing touch, but he was a great politician as well as a great person; just imagine he was a Nyenrodiaan!

　　The information session would be hold in the Castle, Tina drifted to the huge glass door with her weak legs, pushed and pulled; the door remained deadly close. Some faces behind the glass was gesturing her to the right, there was a small wooden door at the right, and it was open. Tina flushed.

　　The boy in black suit at reception desk was looking at her concerned,
　　“Shall I take you coat? It is warm in here.”
　　“No, thanks, I am fine. Shall I sign anything? A registration form or something?”
　　“While, please find you name in the list and mark it, we should have your on-line registration if it was correct.” The suit boy handed over a few pages of names plus addresses to Tina. Tina checked carefully from the first page to the last, her name wasn’t there, she checked it another time; no, she wasn’t on the list!
　　“I did have registered on line, shall I fill in another form here, do you think?” Tina beamed,
　　“While, the introduction will start right away in a few seconds, besides I have no empty registration forms here with me. Just go on in. It doesn’t matter.” Suit boy reassured.
　　It does matter for me, Tina didn’t say it out loud, instead, she picked up the pen and filled her name at the end of the list quickly before going in.

　　After climbed the sharply leaning zigzagging stairs, she went in a sort of old movie house with rows of wooden chairs, all occupied, the house was full. Most of them were Dutch, talking loud and laughing. Many boys and girls in suits were running around testing the microphone and laptop.
　　Tina went to a corner, found herself an empty seat and settled in.

　　Some program manager started the introduction about Nyenrode and the programs, emphasized the heavy study load, some 100 hours per week on average, many audiences were taken aback, Tina smiled, if only she could really managed to be here, she would just skip the sleeping part, 150 hours per week wouldn’t be a problem at all.

　　But everything wasn’t sure yet. She had her mission here from Van de Heuvel to check out how much would the master program exactly cost, the payment terms, tax deduction possibilities.
　　The other day when she got the mail from Van de Heuvel she was crying over the mail from Lisa. Lisa’s father passed away a week ago, she was now running around to arrange the funerals and all the left over properties, selling houses, giving away old furniture’s. She didn’t mention much about sorrow and pain, but Tina could feel it. Lisa still remembered to ask over Tina’s proposal to that charity lady Margo, and said yet another time that she did believe Tina always had good luck, this time there must be a good luck too. There it came, one second later, the mail from Van de Heuvel, who asked her some contact address for a few plush toy makers in China and proposed to finance her study if she’d agree to practice as a part time consultant for Happy Concern.
　　“Forget your 4000 years pride, I am not Red Cross, you have to pay me back when you can.” He had said knowing Tina’s psychological barrier of accepting help from others.
　　Tina couldn’t believe her eyes, couldn’t believe her luck either, she went to the toilet with her red eyes just to avoid the curious staring from other students in the computer room.
　　She went back to the computer room after calming down from the mixed up feeling. She got the thesis topic approved that morning too, nothing about Happy Concern, she on purposely chose a complete other topic, ERP in China, something she had no bits of understanding about. She was just so ashamed that Van de Heuvel hadn’t offered her a working permit. Yet now, it seemed he did genuinely think her dreams wouldn’t’ lie in Happy Concern. She knew Van de Heuvel had suggested Nyenrode, she checked out the Nyenrode website and made a proposal to Van de Heuvel, mentioned the information session, he had told her to go and to collect useful information and see what he could do. She knew Happy Concern wasn’t a big firm, she also knew the financial situation of the firm; she suddenly felt insecure again.

　　Anna said she wasn’t sure if she’d take the offer if she was Tina, to end up in such a huge amount of loan, Tina might zich in de klere werken the whole life.
　　Lisa replied immediately after consulted Cathy that it could be the best choice out of the worst, but Tina had to make a clear contract about the exact part time consulting hours and task range, as the manger could easily take advantages of her gratitude and use her as a free labor.
　　The doctor had asked “why don’t you talk with the manager to just work for him and ask him to offer the development training for free?”

　　Another round reaction over which school she intended to go, Tina thought they’d all be glad to hear Nyenrode.
　　Anna said she heard one might get very good papers from it, but she had no idea if the programs were really that good.
　　Lisa said she heard from her professional friend circle that the fame of Nyenrode was running from down to worse in recent years, the job markets for Nyenrodiaans weren’t promising anymore. (Why? Had Tina asked; they lowered down their enrolment standard, there were more garbage graduates now. Lisa had answered.)
　　The doctor asked why not Erasmus, why not Uva or Vu? What was Nyenrode? There was never a noble prize receiver from Nyenrode, scientifically they hadn’t contributed anything. What’s the point to waste that much money to sit in a rich person’s club for a year?

　　Knew they were all just too much in love with her and very protective, Tina got really depressed, how would they understand what kind of life had she got the last two months, how would they understand that she never even dared to dream about Nyenrode, how would they understand this might as well be her only chance and the last one ever?

　　The only person who said twice congratulations was John. He said Van de Heuvel must have seen Tina’s potential and Nyenrode was the best there was for business education in Holland, that the only difference between Erasmus and Nyenrode was the networking of Nyenrode. Tina was happy that someone was also happy for her.

　　Tina didn’t pay much attention over the introductions, and lectures from those students’ representatives and alumni’s, she did concentrated herself when they talked about the tuition payment. The Master of Science program she intended to follow was 16 months and cost some 25,000 Euros tuition, payment needed to be done in two installments, no time for part time working; total expense would amount to 35,000. The kind administration lady gave her some pages over tax deduction rules upon Tina’s request.

　　Those suited boys and girls handed over some brochures from Fortis Bank and ABN Amro bank to the audiences in case someone from a non-rich family would need a loan, then divided the audiences in groups and showed them around the campus after the introduction. Tina stopped a few brochures in her bag, just to train her Dutch professional reading ability, she told herself, knew for sure there wouldn’t be any chance for the banks to offer a loan to her. A tea break was hold in the Albert Hijn building afterwards. Tina picked up some more program brochures over accounting and MBA, just in case classmates in the HAS would ask. Some one shouted her name full surprise in Chinese, “Siu Tsing, what are you doing here?” it was one of those Chinese boys she knew from the HAS, who had bought a college graduation diploma in China therefore admitted to the HAS with English deficiency. He knew she was a farmer girl.

　　“What are you doing here? You are still in the 3rd year, aren’t you?” Tina never answered awkward or stupid questions, but she had been good in asking them.

　　“I am coming with my girlfriend; we were late for the info session. Are you married or something? It is a very expensive school!” he checked Tina from hair to toe as if somewhere on her skin there would be a tattoo saying “sold property’.
　　Restrained her trembling fists not to hit hard into that stupid face, Tina managed a tooth aching smile, through clenched teeth she said word by word, “I AM NOT MARRIED! And now I have to run for the bus now, enjoy your time here.”

　　* * *

　　Hours later in Rotterdam, dashed hurriedly on her way to a Café where Sara would hold her Bon Voyage party, Tina still couldn’t let go of her anger and embarrassment. It was one thing to be perceived by foreigners as a marry for money or identity Asian girl as she was a Chinese, but it was another thing that her own folks were all so ready to perceive her in the same way and took it for granted that a girl would only get the tuition for a master by marriage.
　　What the hell!
　　Ping! ... Crack! ...
　　Tina rubbed her nose, frown at the broken glasses and bloody red wine streams on the ground, looked up at the wall she bumped in, a tall man in casual blue with a childish face was smiling at her with a pair of blue eyes, hands still full with flowers and shopping bags. Even on her high heels, she felt neck aching to look at his face with her body leaning backwards about 45 degrees.
　　“I am sorry but you came out of blue.” Tina apologized and bent to pick up some big pieces of glass, god, she had no time for this, she was already late.
　　“I thought I am still in blue.” He joked; put down her shopping bags, picked up some big pieces of glass too, “if it wasn’t you, it could be a Japanese.”
　　“A Japanese?” Tina never enjoyed to be mistaken as Japanese. They threw the big pieces to the nearest garbage tank.
　　“Or it could be a Korean or Vietnamese then. Would you please watch these for just one moment?” dropped his shopping bags and flowers on the sidewalk; he ran to the nearest restaurant and came back with a broom and dust pin. Tina took over and cleaned away the glasses and returned the broom and dust pin back. She felt something familiar from the scene, as if it had happened somewhere before. Then shook her head and laughed at herself, of course it must be familiar, not the blue eyed boy, but the garbage, she had cleaned garbage from the ground thousands times for Happy Food anyway.

　　“Shall I buy you another bottle?” Tina knew it must be her fault, she never remembered to open her eyes when crossing streets or turning around corners,
　　“No, thanks, if it breaks it breaks, I got better things left.” He was still smiling, waved his shopping bags and flowers to her.
　　“Ok, then, sorry again, I have to run.” Tina waved her hands at him and dashed further down the street, she had never been to Rotterdam before, she checked the address given by Sara again, Dudok, shouldn’t be far from the train station, she must have missed it.

　　After walking down a few more streets she asked the way, and she indeed missed it. Dashed back again, somewhere near the wine bottle accident, she found the café, Dudok, She was just too busy to escape from the accident and completely forgot to check out the board after she waved goodbye to him.

　　Sara stood up from one corner of the café where tables were combined and people were sitting in a huge circle. Tina hugged her and kissed 3 times on Sara’s cheeks as a normal Dutch would do, handed over the jade bracelet curved with safe trip in Chinese character.
　　Sara ushered Tina to the round circle and introduced Tina to her friends, “Siu Tsing, my good Chinese friend from our part time work.”
　　Then she started to introduce her families, friends to Tina one by one. Tina smiled at all the friendly faces till she heard the name “John,” and stared into the pair of smiling blue eyes she just waved good bye to half an hour ago, he winked, sending a piece of proud information, lucky guess, I knew you were Chinese! Sara explained further “a good friend for as long as I can remember, we always jogging together on Monday evening.”
　　God, Holland was a small country, but this simply couldn’t be true.

　　Tina slightly shook her head with flushed cheek then moved her eyes to the person next to him. She didn’t catch anyone else’s name or who they were, she just couldn’t restrain her idiotic smile any more, it was too much of a coincidence, she noticed his gaze, of course he remembered the wine bottle accident a while ago, but would he realized who she was? The mailing friend who had always refused to meet him in reality? Sara only knew Tina’s Chinese name as she was called by her Chinese name in Happy Food all the time. With John she had never mentioned her Chinese name. She knew he lived somewhere near Rotterdam, that’s why she hadn’t mentioned Sara’s party, she had been afraid he might propose to meet there again. He wouldn’t have a clue that this Chinese was that Chinese! Tina almost laughed out loud.

　　Ordered Ice tea for herself, Tina settled herself down next to one of Sara’s aunts, on purposely ignored John was waving his glass to her at the other end of the circle.
　　As always, the aunt started to questioning about where was she from, how long had she been in Holland, why did she choose here, how did she like it so far, when would she go back to China… When she heard that she lived in a house now with herself in Amsterdam, the lady excitedly recommended her daughter who was a medical student in the Vu desperately looking for a roof in Amsterdam at the moment to share with Tina. Sara heard the conversation and said her niece was definitely a lovely girl. Tina nodded to approve the new roommate, she believed in Sara.

　　“Hi, where have you been after our meeting at the corner?” John moved to the seat across Tina and winked at her ice tea, everybody else was holding a glass of wine. He just wanted to know what was the matter with Chinese girls, the one he mailed months with never wanted to meet him, this one who had just bumped into him and destroyed a bottle of his good wine acted as if it was someone else’s accident.
　　“I went shopping, for a quick present for Sara.” Tina lied,
　　“Aha, I didn’t know there are Chinese shops nearby. Which part of China are you from?” he curiously looked at the little Chinese overall in dark, shirt, pants, shoes and bag were all united black, sharp comparison to her white skin, he thought Chinese all had yellow skin.
　　“Non-Hong Kong, non-Taiwan, non Shanghai, non Peking; which other part of China would you know?” Tina smiled, didn’t look him back, but stared into her ice tea glass, turned her straw playing with the ice blocks instead.
　　“I know Shenyang, 11 hours by train from Peking. By the way it is just Ice Tea in case you don’t know it.” He wasn’t happy to be neglected, this Chinese was even colder than that one; that one was from the north; this one might as well from the North Pole.
　　“It is a glass of tea concentrates with chemical bubbles plus a piece of lemon and a few ice blocks. I came from somewhere near Shenyang, a few hours by train, how did you know about Shenyang?” Tina wasn’t lying, her village was almost a day’s travel by bus, could be quite a few hours by train.
　　“A good Chinese friend of mine came from there. She also studies in Amsterdam, Tina, do you know her?” he looked at Tina hopefully.
　　Tina frown at the bear mat for a long minute thinking hard about what to say, noticed his gaze, she gave him a bright smile and watched into his eyes, “Thanks.”
　　“For what?”
　　“That you didn’t tell me it was just a bear mat.”
　　He smiled and shook his head, was every Chinese girl all so sharp and quick wits?
　　Tina continued, “I think I do know her, she studies in the HAS. Isn’t she?”
　　“Yes, she is going to graduate from the HAS soon and planning for a master program in Nyenrode. Do you see each other often, are you friends?”
　　“We are not really friends, but I see her often in the HAS. Why?”
　　“Do you by any chance have a picture of her?”
　　“Not here with me now, NO. You said you are good friends?”
　　“But she kept herself secret in her shell. What is your name again?”
　　“Xue Jing,”
　　“Siu Tsjing?”
　　“Almost,”
　　“You have to write it down for me, I am going to tell her that I have met you here.” He indeed took out a pen and a piece of paper. Tina wrote her Chinese name down for him. “Don’t move, I will be right back.” He childishly held up his hands in the air and gone in a flash.

　　Tina’s mobile beeped. A message “I met a little white Chinese girl on my friend’s party called Xue Jing, and SHE KNEW YOU!”
　　“Aha, how do you like her then? Shall I match you up?”
　　“Be careful with your jokes, otherwise I may ask her to match you up with me…”

　　There he came back with a smile on his face, sat across Tina again “She asked if she should match you up with me?”
　　“I gather you are going to ask me to match you up with her?”
　　“God, can you minds reading or what? Is that something Chinese or I am not too late to learn yet?” he had to laugh again, he felt at ease to talk with this Chinese too. He never knew Chinese girls could be fun too; he thought they were all just nodding worms smiled like idiots and never said no.

　　Dinner time Tina sat next to the families of Sara again, she was always good at chatting with elder people, she had no idea why, maybe she was just too boring for those young crazy Dutch. Sara was laughing loudly every now and then among her young friends, sometimes talked into John’s ears who sat next to her, without knowing why, Tina just lost her appetite and interests in answering yet another round of whereabouts of her past and future from those friendly elders of Sara. Who was she actually? Some complete outsider from another side of the world, she didn’t belong to the whole group. That was Sara’s group. And Sara was there in his life for years after years, he had also a 10 years relationship, what would that little piece of interest in her Chinese culture matter at all?

　　Excused herself from the coffee and dessert procedure, Tina quickly kissed Sara goodbye and waved to the friendly elders then quietly went out the café without looking at John.

　　Passed by the corner of the wine accident, Tina shook her head. Maybe she’d just stop the whole e-mailing thing with him. She’d never become a part of his world anyway. Mobile beeped again, “Don’t look back; I don’t want to lose another bottle of wine!”
　　Tina froze for a moment, slowly turning back; there he was, walking up to her with his beaming blue eyes. “It wasn’t just lucky guess. Sara told me during dinner that you were coming from Nyenrode information session. You couldn’t be anyone else, stop running away from me, Tina or Siu Tsjing.”