《On The Same Days》橄榄树

16、24th September Tuesday 2002 Amsterdam

　　Wiens brood men eet, diens woord man spreekt?
　　(Whose bread you eat whose side you stand for?)

　　Left the boiled eggs and slices of brown breads on the second floor where Anna could reach with her wheelchair, Christina ran to the Metro station with sleepy eyes half closed.

　　* * *
　　She was almost scared to death on the 14th when Anna told her through the phone that Ling didn’t make it to Anna’s hospital due to a car accident. She was so shocked that she kept cleaning all the tables outside the kiosk every 5 minutes, and picked up thousands of cigarettes ends like a robot till she heard Ling’s voice from the other side.

　　Honestly she wished she could go back, just ran away from all whatever here, and jump in the plain and go back, wasn’t she the one who suggested Ling to go and have a look at Anna? Wasn’t she who gave the address to her? Ling was her best friend. What if something happens with her own families in the village? Was she really able to do anything at all? She didn’t even have enough money for a ticket to fly back, what a bloody shame!! She was doomed to be a bad daughter, a bad friend, a bad waitress; she didn’t even care to pull a smile for whoever eating their garbage here in the park.

　　“What do you eat there everyday then?” Ling had asked,
　　“Same garbage as everybody else does, I am turning into garbage too.” She had answered.
　　“How is Anna?”
　　“She is fine, she asked about you. Why people like me who do deserve the accidents don’t get it?”
　　“No, you only deserve running around like crazy, worrying like hell. Don’t you dare to think about an accident, all of us survive with families, what do you have there?”
　　“I have bad weather, bad luck, bad temper plus whatever bad that you may think of.”
　　“But you are where you wanted to be, isn’t it?”
　　“Now I want to go to the moon, no, somewhere outside of the whole Milky-way Galaxy.”
　　“Once you are up there, you might then realize the beauty of the blue globe.”
　　“Does every accidents create psychics?” it was funny, you could talk and laugh with someone that far across the oceans, but kept poker face with the people right beside you.

　　Tina wasn’t really able to do anything for Anna either, she couldn’t cook any Dutch, not even Chinese. She only cleaned some dishes after all the dinners cooked by Anna’s friends, someone different everyday. The brother, Jack, a writer, his wife, Ester, an actress, with their daughter Caroline were there the first night, the lover who was also yhr present roommate of Ester wasn’t there with his little son, which made it much easier for Tina to remember who was who. Relationships here were always so complicated that she got headaches to know who was whose what.

　　Tuesday were the lesbian couple from Leiden, a masculine sculptor and feminine musician, they were getting married soon, even talked about getting a child.

　　Then came Anna’s sister, the Maria family, Anna’s co-founder of her sculpturing school, the house had been full everyday, it was nice.

　　Tina really felt so glad to see that Anna has so many real good friends, families; such a complete life of her own. None of any ex-husband or boy friend ever came for a visit.
　　But the schedule for the coming week was still fully planned. So many different people who wanted to see Anna and cook a meal for her. Tina was somewhat touched by the friendship among these Kui Laos, she didn’t expect them to be so nice to each other.

　　Anna was so happy about the registered house, if it wasn’t the hip; she must have stood up and danced around when Tina told her,

　　“Tina, I knew it would come out fine with you, you deserve it, people wait for 9 years to get a house under their names; you have terrific good luck! We have to celebrate, go and fetch the champagne!” Anna had shouted, with arms dancing in the air, which she did every time when she heard anything good happens to Tina. Tina felt guilty, she don’t think she deserve it at all.

　　* * *
　　Dreamily stepped into the train, crowded like hell, with all the children going to school, screaming and laughing, she was smashed among all these heavy and tall folks with strong smell of sweat and perfume.

　　Meanwhile the loud speaker was repeating the same piece of message everyday “let op de zakken rollers, alstublieft!” (Pay attention to the pick pockets, please) Had she really learned how to drive in China instead of simply bought a drivers license, she might manage a cheap second hand car here.

　　Almost one month working in Happy Concern, she hadn’t feel any closer with any of the colleagues, she didn’t dislike them, they may not dislike her either, the designer Philip even tried to ask her out, but she felt so indifferent to the whole place and all, she didn’t even attend the yearly company tour of 2 days somewhere in Euro Disney and other places.
　　She lied to them that she had to take care of Anna, then lied to Anna that the company closed down 2 days for the general manager’s son’s birthday, Anna wondered if the general manger a Dutch or a Chinese, no Dutch man would close his business down to celebrate his son’ birthday. Tina felt guilty for Johnson. But who knows, his fore, fore, fore great grand father might well be an escaped Chinese criminal in East India when Holland pirates went there.

　　Arrived the office, “morgen-ed” everyone, then she went directly behind her computer without trying to make tea and joining their last nights conversations as a smiley idiot. She did ever try to participate but that didn’t do anybody any good.

　　Dozens of mails from Shenzhen concerning different orders, colors, materials, printings on cards, delivery times, barcodes… she went through the mails, answering them by checking the orders from customers, god, no, the Princes gift bags of ToysRus would be late, Sesame street hair accessories for Zenner Germany would be late too, not a few days, but a few weeks!
　　She had no idea how would she tell Johnson without making him explode. Then Johnson came in carrying a cartoon box, “Chris, have a look at what we get back from our customer,” he sounded very tense.

　　Tina stood up, took a toilet bag out the cartoon box, it was Winnie de pooh printed tooth brush box and soap box plus combs, the problem is the painting on the soap box stuck to the toilet bag when you want to take them out, 12 bags in the whole box, 20thousand box altogether, all the same.

　　“Did we require them sent us mock up samples here for approval prior to the mass production?”
　　“Are you implying it is our fault to not ask for the silly samples, they have done the same thing 100 times before, for many other characters, who the hell would expect something like this could happen?” he was suspecting her stand point again, maybe still Chinese side.
　　“I am not implying anything, you may just go ahead shout to them on the phone and make claims as you clients did with you, as long as you can keep supply your clients if this Taiwanese suddenly ran into a car.” Tina knew she went too far, but she got really irritated by the suspicion about on which ground stood her foot, for god’s sake, she was not happy at all to live as something in between, as if she represented the whole disgrace of China, meanwhile trying to work as a betrayer for her own folks for a Kui Lao’s firm.

　　What irritated her more was that it was more or less the truth. Though she constantly told herself that she was just doing a sort of translating, but she felt bad whenever her folks accused her of not being patriotically supportive, while her boss accused her of disloyal.

　　What indeed had she done wrong? But since you were not a boss, you were wrong.
　　“Sorry.”
　　“Wow, are you apologizing?” Johnson had to admire the guts from this little Chinese, not many Dutch girls dare to be so brutal to their boss.
　　“No, I just have some more terrible news for you.”
　　“Let me take some anti-heart attack pills first and settle myself in a chair.” He did sit down and had some dark colored pills with his even darker coffee. Tina felt sympathy to this fellow again. Who said it was easier to be a boss? There was just no easy life at all, not for anybody.

　　Tina has no idea based on what, Johnson just stopped or decided to give up his suspicion of her loyalty, he asked her to make plans for a trip to China to check around different places for a possible new production site aside from Shenzhen. She might choose the time that would suit her best and takes as long as she needs.

　　* * *
　　Lisa cooked great Chinese for dinner at Anna’s house, they celebrated again for Tina’s possibility of going back China in November on someone else’s cost after the terrible residence permit extension procedure, and settling down in the possibly new house. Nothing really felt real to Tina at all.

　　After dinner, in Chinese when they cleaned the dishes, Lisa told Tina how many gays were there in her office and one of the few non-gays asked her for a date and told her shyly that he hadn’t saved any money yet.
　　They burst into laughter,

　　“It must be easier to find a suitable lesbian than a man here, don’t you think?” Tina joked. “Even my boss, the very charming and intellectual French gentleman is a gay too; he brought me to the gay bar once near the flower market where there was this absolutely fine collection of nice man who didn’t even notice my very existence.” Lisa turned a bit real blue; she must have fancied her boss a bit in the interviews, some kind of combination of a financial guru with IT backgrounds.

　　“We don’t have to find anyone to marry. Don’t you think Anna lives a very happy independent life?”
　　“Without a family around when sitting in a wheelchair? That kind of independency?”
　　“While we are here now, everyday the house is full.”
　　“That is different, if I am not going to meet anyone; I will probably going to another country for a change.”
　　“Just for the sake of seeking a husband?”
　　“Plus a career. Just what can you do in this tiny country without a Dutch passport?”
　　“Aren’t we both finally fine with our placements?”
　　“Don’t you even dream about any of the firm may apply the working permit for us upon our graduation.”
　　“But you are so much better than loads of Dutch altogether; I am far less educated than you are but I am positive…”
　　“You just always had good luck.” Lisa cut Tina short. Tina turned blue too, she wasn’t as confident at all as the way she talked; she just wouldn’t admit her fear, never, especially not to Lisa, such a proud peacock.
　　Let Lisa believe her friend at least had confidence and good luck.