16、第 16 章 The f ...
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Chapter 16 — The First Snow
The first snow came before dawn , by the time Suyuan opened her eyes, the world outside the Orchid Courtyard had already turned white. She knew something was wrong before Ayao said a word. The room was too quiet. Suyuan pushed herself up from the bed, still wrapped in her thin blanket. Her eyes went immediately to her mother.
“Mother?”
Shuran lay peacefully beneath the covers and for one brief moment, Suyuan thought she was sleeping but then she noticed that her chest was no longer rising. She stood there without moving.“Mother…”
Nanny Zhang lowered her head. Suyuan walked to the bed and sat beside her. She reached for Shuran’s hand. It was cold. She held it between both of hers, as though warmth alone could bring it back. “My mother has always been cold,” she whispered. Her voice did not break. Suyuan hugged her mother's cold body and after a while she lowered her mother's hand carefully.
“Let me take care of her.”
Her mother had died, and Younis had not even stopped long enough to notice.
Suyuan turned away. "Help me," she said. Tarkan was the first to step forward.
Khasar followed without asking what she intended to do. They carried wood to the courtyard. No one from the Khan's household came to stop them, no one came to claim Shuran and no one came to say goodbye. When everything was ready, Suyuan stood beside her mother's body. The wood crackled beneath the pale winter sky. Snow settled quietly on Suyuan's shoulders and in her hair as she stood before the flames. She watched her mother's body disappear behind the curtain of fire. She did not look away , not even once. Nanny Zhang stood beside her, crying silently while Ayao covered her mouth with both hands, unable to bear the sight.
Suyuan looked at Shuran for the last time, she remembered her mother's final words.
“Leave Younis, don't carry my hatred and live a happy life. Suyuan remained still, she remembered her mother's hands feeding her broth. She remembered being told that she was her mother's treasure but now there was nothing left to protect. The flames burned for a long time. When they finally died down, the snow had covered the ground around them. Suyuan knelt with trembling hands, she gathered her mother's ashes one handful at a time. She was terribly careful , she did not want to leave even a little of her behind. When the last ash had been collected, Suyuan placed it inside a small ceramic jar. She closed the lid herself for several moments, she simply held it against her chest. Then she lowered her eyes. “Mother,” she said softly, “you wanted to return to Xian.” Her fingers tightened around the jar. “I will take you there.”
Nanny Zhang looked at her through tears.“Suyuan…”
Suyuan stood there , the grief was still there. It would probably remain for the rest of her life. But beneath it, something else had settled into place. She looked toward the Khan's palace in the distance. The place was still standing and the banners still flew. People were still eating, laughing, drinking, preparing for another season as if nothing had happened. Suyuan's expression did not change, her mother had spent years enduring this place.
She would not.
“I've decided,” she said.
Ayao looked at her.
“Decided what?”
Suyuan looked down at the jar in her arms.
“The wedding will still happen.”
Her voice was quiet.
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第16章 第 16 章
